You see, a few weeks ago I was "farting around" on the computer (as my dear friend's husband calls it!) and I thought I'd check out the Addy's Hope Waiting Children page. For those of you who don't know, we adopted three of our children just over a year and a half ago through Addy's Hope Adoption Ministry. We have stayed in contact with the ministry founders and directors and I am always praying for the new waiting children to find homes soon SO, I thought I'd just check in and see what was going on. . .
and then I saw them
and they look just like my kids
and their eyes penetrate my very soul
and I want to fly there tomorrow and carry them home
SNAP! Back to reality here, girl! You have 4 children, you have debt, your husband is a pastor and you are a stay at home mom, people will think you are crazy. . . heck, your husband will think you are crazy.
O.K. just pray for them to find an adoptive family. . .
BUT, a few weeks later, I just happen to show my husband their picture and somewhat flippantly say "well, should we adopt them?"
and he says. . .
"Yeah, let's do it."
Hold on. . . what?! You were supposed to say "are you crazy? we can hardly keep up now, how will we afford it? etc. . . . . "
aughh - this is what happens when two "visionaries" get married - there's just no one to talk any "common sense" into anyone else! LOL! But, you know what? I'm SO glad! Because I'm so tired of "common." I don't want to live a common life. I want to live a Christ-filled, overflowing, hard, blessed, completely dependent, crazy life! And,by the way, I've obviously not arrived at this yet since, like Paul, what I want to do I don't do and what I don't want to do I find myself doing. . . but we're all a work in progress, right?
So, here they are - the children whose picture has captured our hearts in the same way a picture captured our hearts just over two and a half years ago and brought three wonderful blessings into our life.
And, I guess we are crazy (a little), but we are praying and knowing that if it is the Lord's will, that he will make a way for us to bring them into our family. At the same time we trust that His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways and so we are praying that He will make it clear to us, also, if there is another family He has chosen for them. BUT, we are hopeful and ready to adopt them if it is His will.
It will take almost 10,000.00 just for the initial adoption fees (plus almost another 8000.00 later, plus travel) of which we have none right now. So, we are waiting and praying because that much money is like a drop in the ocean in the Lord's economy and since it is all His anyways, we know that He will provide if He so chooses!
I feel strangely peaceful and content. . .
- not knowing if they are "ours". . . wanting them to be, yet happy if God has another family for them.
- having debt we are working to pay off, yet knowing he will provide the needed resources to raise 3 more children
- knowing that an almost 9 year old boy is on the "scary" end of adoption in most people's minds, but loving him already
- feeling happy that Little Missy might have a sister, yet happy if she is the only girl we ever raise
- wanting to experience the joy of having a newborn again, yet thrilled at the prospect of potentially adding 3 more older children to our family
-knowing we need close to 35,000.00 to adopt them which happens to be WAY more than any car we have ever driven - which reminds me that we will also need a bigger vehicle. . .
I'm just content. Crazy and content. It is a good place to be!
I think I am understanding a little better that "godliness with contentment (truly) is GREAT gain."
And while I'm sure I'll be working on the godliness part for a LONG time to come, I pray that the Lord will continue to help me foster this wonderful contentment I find in Him.
Content in where we are, content in what is to come, knowing that it is in Him we are truly content.
1 comment:
Praying for open doors and miracle upon miracle for you and these kids!!!!
Love ya,
K
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