Thanking the Lord for my husband - a hero

My husband is a hero.  If you want to know why or if you just need something to ponder this Christmas, please read the article below. . . it is definitely worth it!

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Joseph's Adoption of Jesus

(originally printed: By Elizabeth Foss 

Herald Columnist From the issue of 12/22/05)

My son Christian was searching the bookshelves yesterday, apparently frustrated by the dearth he saw there. Since we have well over 1,000 titles at his disposal, I wondered what was missing.

"There's hardly anything on Joseph here! I understand why we need so many Mary books, but nobody says much about Joseph, you know? And he was a hero … " he trailed off.

A hero indeed. Though I hadn't spoken it, I had been meditating lately about the heroic good of St. Joseph and the Nativity. Commonly, we look at the story of Christmas as a birth story: We have a round-bellied Madonna riding on a donkey until she gets to a cave where animals joyfully welcome a lovely baby. As a mother who has been nine months pregnant during Advent and a mother with a newborn on Christmas Day, it is easy for me to identify with the birth story.

But the Nativity story is also a story of adoption. A strong man heard the call of a God to take into his heart and home a baby that was not his biological child. Against the raised eyebrows of those around him, but because he dearly loved his wife and the God they served, he traveled a great distance. He wasn't sure what he'd find there; to say that the accommodations were less than what he was used to is to understate the case. And then, almost immediately, it was his job to rescue the baby, to save him from grave danger.

Once they were safely at home, he raised the child as his own. He shared the faith of his fathers; he taught him the family trade. Certainly, there were challenges in this family that related to the adoption. This child, at 12, left his foster father for three days to return to the home of his real Father. How many children of adoption have experienced that same restlessness and caused the parents who have rescued them the grief that Mary and Joseph felt while they searched for their child?

St. Joseph was faithful. Perhaps he recognized that we are all children of adoption. We are all broken, disenfranchised, wounded and in grave danger. Our Savior makes us brothers and sisters, heirs to His throne. We become one family of faith, like that little family in Nazareth so many years ago.

For some reason, the Lord has surrounded me by the miracle of adoption. I have seven children. Five of them have godparents who are adoptive parents. Most recently, Christian's godmother welcomed a little boy from Liberia, just in time for Thanksgiving.

When I look at the fathers in these families, I am struck by their courage. Adoptive moms assure me that adoption is rarely ever a man's idea. And it is almost always an idea born of a woman's pain. The sorrowful heart of a mother meets the sorrowful heart of a child and together they begin a new life. But how do they get to "together?" They become a family through the courageous actions of a man who sees the pain of his wife and listens to her as she tells him about the pain of the child. Rarely, do these women beg and plead. Rather, like Mary, they trust God. They pour out their hearts in prayer and God convicts their husbands. The program director for a Catholic adoption agency assures me that this is not the case of weak, badgered men who cave to whining women. Rather, they are tender, brave men who recognize a mutual need and hear a distinct call.

The father who adopts is strong and faithful. He travels to places like Kazakhstan, Russia, China, Guatemala and even hostile Africa. He saves the baby — often from abject poverty, illness or death. He is the St. Joseph of our times.

There are literally millions of children in this world who need rescuing. We are called in James 1:27 to care for the widows and the orphans. What does that mean exactly? Do we toss a few coins in the poor box or wrap an extra gift at Christmastime or do we take a risk? Are there brave men out there after the heart of St. Joseph who will travel great distances to difficult places to rescue a baby and give it a home all because it's the will of God? It is the will of God.
These are the weakest of us, the poorest, the most defenseless. In this country, we cannot fathom children who scurry along the murky puddles in Haiti scavenging for a few slender fish, only to come up without anything. These children are so malnourished that their hair turns orange and falls out in clumps. There are "dying rooms" in China where children who have cerebral palsy or missing hands or missing ears are left in the dark to starve to death.

And what will become of the children who grow up orphans if we do not have men like St. Joseph in our midst? According to Shaohannah's Hope, a foundation begun by Christian music legend Steven Curtis Chapman, who has adopted three daughters, "Statistics regarding the future prospects for children who emancipate from orphanages, the foster care system, or who grow up as street children are profoundly bleak … . Theft, prostitution, homelessness, substance abuse, incarceration and suicide affect the lives of the vast majority of those children who grow up as orphans and never find permanent, loving homes. In short, orphans by definition are children who for whatever reason have found themselves in need of permanent, safe, and loving families. And for such children, being taken in by a family through the "spirit of adoption" is their greatest need"(http://www.howtoadopt.org/).

They were going to stone the Mother of God. Joseph knew the baby was not conceived by him. He didn't understand it. How could this baby be his to raise? How could he be asked to overcome the opinions of his community, the misgivings of his own mind, and listen to the call upon his soul? Where would he find the courage? How could he possibly provide for the childhood of the child of God Himself? Why couldn't this be simple? Why couldn't he marry Mary and just conceive a baby of his own? Instead, he must set off on a two-year odyssey to distant and hostile lands to bring home a baby that didn't even look like him. And what of the future? This was an extraordinary way to build a family; how could he know what the future held, particularly with a beginning like this?

A hero? He was a hero. He was a strong, courageous, man of faith. And there are men like him today. They are Paul, and Joe, and Mark, and Chuck, and Scott, and Kevin, and Ed [and Jeff*]. They are ordinary men who are called to extraordinary measures for a humble, helpless child and the love of the woman who becomes the child's mother. They are the men of the Christmas story. God bless them!

*edited by me to include my incredible hero!

"my three kids"

Praise the Lord for his goodness and love!  We found out this morning that "our three kids" who were waiting for a family to commit to adopting them have a family as of this morning!  What an awesome Christmas blessing from the Lord.  In just two months, he brought a family forward to adopt a sibling group that many would have deemed "unadoptable."  I'm so glad that, in His sight, we are all adoptable!

The Lord also blessed me with the knowledge that they are truly going to a good home (a friend of one of my online friends who is also an adoptive mama).  Thank you so much for praying!  May the Lord bring them home soon and may he be glorified in every circumstance surrounding this adoption process.  

P.S.  If P,E, and N's "new family" is reading this - Congratulations!  AND - we are praying for a 6 month process or less!

An Open Letter

One of my good OLFs (on-line friends) recently wrote "An Open Letter" from adoptive parents with attachment challenged children. . . to the rest of the world.  Friends, she hits the bulls eye on this one.  I thought it would be good to pass it along.  If you have an attachment challenged child, you will be crying, laughing, or both!  If you are my IRLF (in real life friend), maybe this will give you just a little more insight into how you can understand and help when you are w/ me and the kiddos.

Click HERE to go to the original post on her blog (or just scroll down to read it below).

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An Open Letter....
I thought it may be of benefit to write an open letter from adoptive parents with attachment challenged children ... to the rest of the world. Maybe you could learn something to help a parent/child you know.


Please know that when our children are standing sullen by our side, they do not need you to pick them up or otherwise "love on" them... but they need a verbal praise from you such as "Good job for standing there so nicely by your mom". Ignore the look on their face and praise the obedience that they are complying with.

Please know that when our children are crying or whining because everyone else has something that they don't ... it's okay. We have our reasons.

Please know that they deserve no sympathy or attention from you when they've chosen to disobey or are throwing themselves on the floor in rage.

Please know that our children need prayer.

Please know that their parents need prayer.

Please don't be offended when we ask you not to hold our kids or give them food.... those are things reserved for their mom/dad until they are healthy.

Please know that if we keep them home from activities that their siblings get to go to, it's because they need to earn those things and we are teaching to our children's character development.

Please know that just because we parent them differently, we are not mean.

Please know that we love our kids.

Please know that we never chose this ... and we certainly did not create it.

Family Driven Faith

Have you read this book yet?  Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham is one of those great books that both encourages and challenges you.  If you haven't read it yet, I would encourage you to check it out!  

The only thing better than the book might be hearing Voddie preach this message (he is an inspiring preacher!).  You can hear some of his messages HERE.  

I highly recommend these two messages (I haven't listened to the rest yet)

The Centrality of the Home (a message he preached to an assembly of 1,000 pastors)

and/or

Getting Your House in Order (basically it is the message of his book, Family Driven Faith)

  My husband and I have been doing a lot of praying, thinking, and talking lately about the centrality of the home in the discipleship of children and on the place of youth ministry in the local church. . . we're pretty sure that the common ym model used in most churches today is not biblical nor effective (and my husband WAS a youth pastor for almost 10 years, so we've been there!).  

I would love to hear your thoughts after you listen in or if you've read the book!

If you actually read this blog

would you mind leaving a "Hello" comment here?  I would LOVE to know if anyone out there even is interested in all of my ramblings.  I think I like blogging (I love reading the blogs on my sidebar!), but sometimes I wonder if it is really worth the time - especially as I think about trying to be a more consistent blogger.  PLUS, I would just love to say Hello to all of you "lurkers" out there!  So, if you have just a quick second. . . 

Thanks!

Just in case you missed my post a few days ago. . .

Will you PLEASE lift these three precious children up when you pray. 

 I am LONGING for them to have a home and I would LOVE it if we could adopt them into our family.  I believe that, statistically speaking, these children have a less than 5% chance of being adopted since there are 3 of them together, two of them are boys, and two of them are over age 5.  It is especially low b/c so many people are scared of adopting a 9 year old boy (which is a post and discussion for another day).  Isn't this sad?  

However,  I don't much care what the statistics say (LOL!). . . I BELIEVE that God has a plan for their lives and wants them to have a loving family to be a part of and to be raised up to be warriors for Christ so I am trusting that He is already working it out even if we can't see it.

My husband and I have prayed and talked and we are definitely ready to bring them home if that is what the Lord wills and provides.   Whether it is us, or another family, will you join us in praying for Peter, Esther, and Nehemiah?  

Fantastic List of Homeschooling Resources

I've been thinking for a while about making a list of my favorite homeschooling resources and posting them here on my blog.  Someday, this might actually happen. . . but, for today, here are my "TOP TWO" recommendations (I read or refer to both of these multiple times every year):  

"The Three R's" 

by Ruth Beechick 

(the older version is actually 3 small booklets; newer version is all in one)

I can't say enough about this VERY short, VERY comprehensive book.  Ruth Beechick is incredibly knowledgeable and gifted in teaching children the basics!  If I was stranded on a desert island or (more likely) a missionary living in a mud hut in Africa, this book and the Bible would be all I would NEED to educate my children very well!  If you are new to homeschooling, or if you are homeschooling a birth-10 year old and struggling and/or overwhelmed with too many resources, PLEASE get this book right away.  It will be an invaluable tool!

"Educating the Whole-hearted Child" 

by Clay and Sally Clarkson

A very good friend first gave me this book when Mr. Z was almost 5 after listening to me lament about how we wanted to homeschool BUT were so worried that he would never ride the bus, carry a lunchbox, go to prom, etc. . . LOL!   Praise the Lord that He knew just what I needed at that moment because this book confirmed everything I knew that I knew but just couldn't put into words.  What an encouragement!  What a challenge to raise my children to be whole-heartedly devoted to the Lord.  Even if you're not a homeschooler, many of the thoughts and ideas in this book about intentionally discipling your children make this a book worth having on your shelf!

And, since we're talking about great resources. . . 

Check out this post from Kendra over at Preschoolers and Peace.  It is all about basically free homeschooling resources available via the internet.  BTW, Preschoolers and Peace is a great resource itself!  You can even help to support P&P by purchasing one of the above resources through their site (I am not being paid to say this!).

Pictures, Old and New

Someone asked for some pictures, so I thought it might be fun to show our pictures from last year and this year!  

My, how the kids have grown.  

So, here is our Fall 07 picture 

with (L-R):  Big Jo, Little Missy, Mr. Z, and Speedy Mo.  

Aren't they cute?  

AND. . . 

Here they are now!  

This picture was taken about a month ago. 

 Can you tell who is who?  

Fall 08 

Kudos to one of the best photographers ever!  If you want to know who she is, email me privately and I'll tell you!

A Time Audit

One of my good friends (an IRL, or "in real life" friend, as my husband calls them) had this great idea to do a time audit.  You can read her great post HERE.  I just LOVE this because as I have been working on my "time audit," I can really see where I have been wasting time, where I want to be spending my time, where I do not need to be spending time, etc. . . 

My official "time audit" will be posted soon, but I would love for everyone to go over and add their "time audit" thoughts to the original post over at "We Lift Our Eyes!"

My latest "crazy" idea

Well, not entirely crazy, only a little bit crazy - depending on who you ask!

You see, a few weeks ago I was "farting around" on the computer (as my dear friend's husband calls it!) and I thought I'd check out the Addy's Hope Waiting Children page.  For those of you who don't know, we adopted three of our children just over a year and a half ago through Addy's Hope Adoption Ministry.  We have stayed in contact with the ministry founders and directors and I am always praying for the new waiting children to find homes soon SO, I thought I'd just check in and see what was going on. . . 

and then I saw them

and they look just like my kids

and their eyes penetrate my very soul

and I want to fly there tomorrow and carry them home

SNAP!  Back to reality here, girl!  You have 4 children, you have debt, your husband is a pastor and you are a stay at home mom, people will think you are crazy. . . heck, your husband will think you are crazy.  

O.K.  just pray for them to find an adoptive family. . . 

BUT, a few weeks later, I just happen to show my husband their picture and somewhat flippantly say "well, should we adopt them?"

and he says. . . 

"Yeah, let's do it."  

Hold on. . . what?!  You were supposed to say "are you crazy?  we can hardly keep up now, how will we afford it?  etc. . . . . "  

aughh - this is what happens when two "visionaries" get married - there's just no one to talk any "common sense" into anyone else!  LOL!  But, you know what?  I'm SO glad!  Because I'm so tired of "common."  I don't want to live a common life.  I want to live a Christ-filled, overflowing, hard, blessed, completely dependent, crazy life!  And,by the way,  I've obviously not arrived at this yet since, like Paul, what I want to do I don't do and what I don't want to do I find myself doing. . . but we're all a work in progress, right?

So, here they are - the children whose picture has captured our hearts in the same way a picture captured our hearts just over two and a half years ago and brought three wonderful blessings into our life.  

And, I guess we are crazy (a little), but we are praying and knowing that if it is the Lord's will, that he will make a way for us to bring them into our family.  At the same time we trust that His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways and so we are praying that He will make it clear to us, also, if there is another family He has chosen for them.  BUT, we are hopeful and ready to adopt them if it is His will.  

It will take almost 10,000.00 just for the initial adoption fees (plus almost another 8000.00 later, plus travel) of which we have none right now.  So, we are waiting and praying because that much money is like a drop in the ocean in the Lord's economy and since it is all His anyways, we know that He will provide if He so chooses!

I feel strangely peaceful and content. . . 

- not knowing if they are "ours". . .  wanting them to be, yet happy if God has another family for them.

- having debt we are working to pay off, yet knowing he will provide the needed resources to raise 3 more children

- knowing that an almost 9 year old boy is on the "scary" end of adoption in most people's minds, but loving him already

- feeling happy that Little Missy might have a sister, yet happy if she is the only girl we ever raise

- wanting to experience the joy of having a newborn again, yet thrilled at the prospect of potentially adding 3 more older children to our family

-knowing we need close to 35,000.00 to adopt them which happens to be WAY more than any car we have ever driven - which reminds me that we will also need a bigger vehicle. . . 

I'm just content.  Crazy and content.  It is a good place to be!

I think I am understanding a little better that "godliness with contentment (truly) is GREAT gain." 

And while I'm sure I'll be working on the godliness part for a LONG time to come, I pray that the Lord will continue to help me foster this wonderful contentment I find in Him.  

Content in where we are, content in what is to come, knowing that it is in Him we are truly content.

Truly Blessed and truly thankful

As I sit and contemplate the many conversations I've had the past few days, I have just been reminded of how thankful I am that this world is not our home. . . 

that there is something better that we hope for. . . 

but, for today, I find myself here in this broken world crying tears of sorrow as I pray for dear friends who are facing tough, desperate, and seemingly hopeless situations.

And yet, 

in the midst of pain and heartache, 

in the midst of struggles and confusion, 

in the midst of ugliness and frustrations -  

Beauty is there, 

Comfort is there, 

Friendship is there, 

Forgiveness is there, 

Peace is there, 

Love is there, 

Hope is there. . . 

because HE is there.

And because He is there my soul is strengthened and I am reminded of His many blessings and of his undeserved and unreserved Grace and my heart can truly say "blessed be the name of the Lord."