The Ultimate Goal

"The ultimate goal in life for the Christian is to glorify God -

not to pursue happiness or find fulfillment

or be loved and appreciated by others.

Those things are important and have their place,

but they're not to take precedence over pleasing Him in everything we do."

-Charles Swindoll

(from Strike the Original Match Bible Study Guide)

Currently reading this and finding wonderful nuggets of wisdom.

I highly recommend it!

Willing to be Exhausted

Please read Summer's challenging exhortation to adoptive mama's today.

It is SO exhausting to parent children "from hard places."

SO exhausting.

And, as Randy so clearly writes,

it isn't about giving them a warm bed and full tummies.

To be honest, if that is all it was for. . .

I wouldn't make it.

But,

let us be willing to be exhausted

for the sake of their souls.

That will glorify God.

Let us be willing.

Praying for Movement

Lord,

move in the hearts of your people to stop standing still in fear and to start moving out in faith!

To start saying "YES!" to the wonderful plans you have for them: plans to prosper and not to harm them, plans to bring them (and others) a future and Hope, plans that will bring you glory.

For more encouragement today, please stop by and see what Amy has to say at BUILDING THE BLOCKS...: What's stopping you?

Reflections on TTUAC

First off, let me just say that I'm guessing this post will either greatly increase my readers or pretty much reduce them down to zero. LOL! Either way, I would like to at least offer my thoughts and questions here and simply ask that you remember that I am still a work in progress, striving to live a life that glorifies my Lord but knowing that I am constantly in need of His Grace when I totally blow it (that happens a lot!). Is anyone with me?

If you haven't yet heard, a 7 year old adopted Liberian girl died recently from alleged child-abuse at the hands of her parents who were allegedly following the child-training principles of Michael and Debi Pearl, authors of "To Train up a Child." This tragedy, of course, is very near and dear to my heart since we also have an adopted Liberian daughter of about the same age, and we are a large, Christian, homeschooling family AND (gulp, dare I mention) I have read some of The Pearl's books and online articles and have even followed some of the practical suggestions within them.

I had been saddened and confused in the past few months by both the death of Lydia and by the seemingly harsh and slanderous backlash against the Pearls which has been intense. I felt discouraged because we have gleaned wisdom from the Pearls website and resources over the years (although we don't "follow" the teaching of any man, but of the Lord) and I felt like so many people were now saying that the "Pearls advocate beating children to death."

THAT was never what I read when I read any of these materials, yet it seemed as if so many had such the opposite experience.

It raised so many questions:

Had we totally been blind and missing it as parents all of these years because we sought to teach our children to obey?

Had we been completely led astray by false teachings?

What about all of the "Pearl or Ezzo reading" wonderful, loving Christian families that we personally know who have sweet, joyful Christ-loving children?

How can one family read these things and parent "this" way, but another family reads it and thinks something totally different?

Because of this confusion, I have completely avoided talking about it on my blog until now.

Ann, over at Holy Experience, recently posted a link to THIS article from Tina ,reviewing the Pearl's book "To Train Up a Child," which really helped me to answer some of these questions.

I think this article is definitely worth reading no matter what your experience with TTUAC has been. In it, she outlines some of the problems that can come from TTUAC, especially in the hands of a young, inexperienced, and desperate mother or father sincerely seeking to glorify God in their parenting.

I found Tina's thoughts to be very enlightening and encouraging. So much so, that it prompted me to finally "say" something about it all in this more public forum.

In addition to what Tina concludes, I would like to offer the following thoughts:

• I have probably read a hundred parenting books and have gleaned wisdom and insight, practical ideas, and encouragement from almost all of them and have also realized that NONE of them is full of absolute truth. After all, they are written by fallible humans. The only authority for glorifying and obeying God is the Bible, which is the Word of God.

• For me, personally, it has always been easy to "chew up the meat and spit out the bones" whether I am reading the parenting advice of the Pearls, the Ezzos, Dr. Sears, Dr. Dobson, Sally Clarkson, Tedd Tripp, Scott Turansky, or any others. However, I have realized, in recent days that MANY young mothers are not as able to glean what is good and leave what is bad and often feel bad if they don't follow a particular method to a "T." This, for some reason, seems to be especially true with regards to the teachings of The Pearls and The Ezzos. This has been a bit of an eye-opener for me!

• I guess I am now what some would term a "seasoned parent" and I am often asked about books, methods, tips, tricks, principles, and practicalities of parenting. In the past my assumption would have been that any book that had helped us might also be helpful to other families. I think that I have wrongly assumed that others are able to "spit out the bones" as easily as I do while still thoughtfully applying what is biblical, helpful, and good. And, so, I arrive at the same conclusion that Tina does:

While I do not think Michael Pearl intends for his teachings to lead to abuse, I can clearly see how readingTTUAC could influence parents to sin or at least exasperate their children. I am not calling for a Pearl book burning. I do still believe that Christians should “chew the meat and spit out the bones” with any resource. Doing so, however, requires wisdom. So many parents who seek parenting advice are young, inexperienced and lack discernment. (I know I was!) Seasoned parents should direct young parents to resources that emphasize the need to pray for wisdom continually and are written in a gracious manner.

So, my question for you, dear readers, is:

What are those parenting resources that emphasize the need to pray for wisdom continually and are written in a gracious manner?

I *think* I know what ones I would recommend, but I would LOVE to hear your thoughts first!

please pray today

it is such a spiritual battle here today. of one thing I am sure, we don't war against flesh and blood but against the powers of darkness. Adoption is one thing that the enemy hates for sure, especially when children who would have maybe never even heard the name of Christ are now going to be brought up in a home who tries to glorify and worship him with their whole lives.

pray for our family and families surrounding us today.

there is an important court hearing today. pray that God's will would be done on earth as it is in heaven.

pray for truth to be known and lies to be exposed.

pray that He might be glorified as people look at what He is doing in our family.

Feeling just a bit better

Thank you so much for praying. It has been a real struggle to be REALLY sick (both husband and I) for 4 of the first 6 days our new children have been home. I told Jeff that if we could survive this while sick, then surely we can survive it (and even thrive) when we are well! LOL!

As I was contemplating how I would respond to the constant eye-rolling, whining, sagging-shouldered "aw, but mommee!" sounds of my un-parented, steeped in tween-culture, attempts to manipulate me of my new 9 and 12 year old daughters today. . . (way too long of a sentence, but it continues), I found myself thinking how totally spoiled they were and how all of their responses are totally dependent on them getting what they think they deserve: if they get it they are happy - if they don't, they are whining and pouting.

AND THEN IT HIT ME!

I have been whining and complaining to God (and a few select friends) that I am sick right now and how unfair it is and how it would be easier if I was not sick because, after all, I had plans for this first week and this is making MY life harder and that really God should give me what I want because I think it is best . . .

Oh. . .

Ah, yes, I just love how adoption has opened up my eyes to all of the ways that I respond like a spoiled orphan when I am not believing and living in the reality of the fact that I am an ADOPTED daughter of THE benevolent King of the Universe! He really does love me and really does have a GOOD purpose and plan for my life. No discipline seems good at the time but in the end it reaps a harvest of righteousness. Ultimately, it is not about "me" anyways. It is about Him being glorified. IF I really believe that He is good AND that He is sovereign, then I can fully trust him with EVERYTHING (even being sick right now) and. . . probably, I shouldn't whine about it!? LOL!

So, praising God for all of the good things that are coming from this sickness and doing just what I tell my children to do: "put your shoulders back, put a smile on your face, and with joy in your heart say 'yes, mommy.' Good job!"

"Yes, Daddy!" :)

What if?

What if God moved in the hearts of a young couple, just starting out, without a lot of money, to adopt a child?

AND, they obeyed?

What if God put it on their hearts again and again during the next 10 years to adopt another child, and then another?

AND, they obeyed?

What if God called them to live a life of faith and trust in Him as they left behind the things of this world and instead invested in the lives of His precious children?

AND, they obeyed?

THEN, you would be looking at the incredible (yet true) lives of Kim and Ben and their ten (yes, TEN!) precious adopted gifts from God: now being raised in a loving and godly home to be warriors in His kingdom!

Now,

What if this family was in need of a home in which they could raise these ten children (and maybe more) in the love and admonition of the Lord?

What if, in an amazing turn of events that some call the "state of the economy", such a home could be had for only 200,000.00, but only if you have cash?

What if this couple doesn't have 200,000.00 in cash (at least partly because they have invested close to 100,000.00 in adopting 10 children!)?

What if God has already given his people a picture of what the body of Christ could actually look like?

All the believers were together and had everything in common.

Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.
Acts 2:44-45

What if only 10,000 (of the self-proclaimed 159 million) Christians in America decided that just for THIS week, they PERSONALLY would give up something, sell something, or find an extra odd job so that they could give just $20.00 towards helping this family have a home in which to raise their precious children?

What if?

I mean, can you imagine what an INCREDIBLE blessing this would be? What an amazing story of God's people joining together to care for orphans and to love their brothers and sisters in Christ!

I know times are tough financially right now for so many people and I certainly don't have 200,000.00 just lying around (and I doubt many of my readers do either). . . but, can I come up with 20.00? The real answer is YES - if it is important enough to me, I can certainly find 20.00 that would help Kim and Ben buy a home in which to raise their children in righteousness! I can't help but believe that there are at least 10,000 other families who can certainly do the same.

And so, believing that God is able to do exceedingly more than all we ask or imagine, I am introducing "PROJECT HOME: because every child needs one." Can we (the Body of Christ) come together and provide the physical place needed for Kim and Ben to continue their amazing ministry to these awesome children? I think we can!

Read more about Kim and Ben and donate TODAY HERE for HIS glory!

Amazing!

That is what these first 5 days with "the girls" has been - amazing! I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting, but I couldn't have imagined it would have been this seamless of a transition for ALL of us. Not that it has all been peachy and wonderful (well, mostly it has been great), but it has been incredibly obvious to all of us that God is at work in knitting our families together as one.

Incredible husband preached on Sunday (if you know where we live and go to church, you can hear his message online through our church's website or email me for the link) and he talked about "Faith." One of the many encouraging/challenging things he reminded us of was that so often we want to share in God's glory but don't want to share in the suffering. BUT, that when we say "NO" to sharing in Christ's suffering, we are often saying "NO" to sharing in His glory by getting to be a part of the incredible things he is doing. WOW! What a good reminder. I don't think there is anywhere this is more true than in adoptions! So often there really are HARD things and suffering surrounding adoption, but when we are open to saying "yes" EVEN THOUGH it might be hard, we gain the blessing of being able to be involved in God's amazing redemptive work in our children's lives!

Does anyone else understand what I'm saying here? The reality of this just brings me to tears even thinking about it. I mean, if Jeff and I had said "NO, Lord, adopting 3 older children from Liberia is just too crazy, we don't have the money, and we don't want to hurt our bio. son," then we would have MISSED out on Big Jo, Speedy Mo, and Little Missy!!! I can't IMAGINE life without them! And, here's the funny thing. . .

I can't imagine life without Miss C, Miss D, and Miss A (and it has only been 5 days!).

"Yes, Lord!" May we all say "Yes, Lord!" with full abandon that we might get to share in His Grace and His Glory and to see the amazing things he has planned!

A Jesus Manifesto

Jesus Christ was not a social activist nor a moral philosopher. To pitch him that way is to drain his glory and dilute his excellence. Justice apart from Christ is a dead thing. The only battering ram that can storm the gates of hell is not the cry of Justice, but the name of Jesus. Jesus Christ is the embodiment of Justice, Peace, Holiness, Righteousness. He is the sum of all spiritual things, the “strange attractor” of the cosmos. When Jesus becomes an abstraction, faith loses its reproductive power. Jesus did not come to make bad people good. He came to make dead people live.

Wow! For more of this amazing manifesto from Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola, visit http://ajesusmanifesto.wordpress.com/

It is ALL about Jesus!

Prayers for Tired Mamas

Are you tired from loving a child with RAD who doesn't return your love?  

Are you tired from mothering many little children who have many basic care needs?  

Are you tired and weary from fighting on behalf of the orphans and the poor but seeing little change?  

Are you tired from realizing (once again) that you blew it with your children?  

Are you tired from worrying about finances or employment, or housing for your family?  

Are you tired of being in the hospital with a sick child who is in constant pain?  

Are you tired from the wait for your child to come home from his orphanage and into your family. . . but there's nothing more you can do?

My dear friends, I know one or more of you in each of these places this week and I am praying for you!

Honestly, this week I am tired and I could use your prayers too.

Be encouraged friends, for the hard places you are in are places of refining and of growth.  Oh how wonderful it would be if we could grow and mature without affliction, but it is FIRE that refines us.  Isn't it amazing, too, how much God is glorified when his Redemption comes in fullness within the most hopeless situations?

And, isn't that our chief purpose and aim?  To glorify God and enjoy him forever!  Be encouraged my tired friends, for

your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing.  Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.  All this is evidence that God's judgement is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering.  God is just:  He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well.  This will happen when the Lord Jesus is reavealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. . . With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.  We pray this so tat the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.   (2 Thess. 1:3-12) 

But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers (sisters!) loved by the Lord, because from the beginning, God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth . He called you to this though our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. . . May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word. (2 Thess. 2:13-16)

I thank the Lord for you, my sisters in Christ!  He is doing a good work in you and through you.  May he encourage your hearts today!

Surprise!

Well, it was a bit of a surprise, but we tend to do things unconventionally pretty much always!  

So, we were officially approved yesterday as foster parents AND. . . 

We also actually became foster parents!  LOL!

Needless to say we were far from "set up" but we really prayed that the Lord would bring them here if this is where they needed to be - and he did!  So, we rolled up our sleeves, enlisted the help of some GREAT friends, and pulled it all together very quickly to receive our first

TWO children. . .

under age 2!

Well, I haven't been here for a while, so I'm remembering funny things like:

it is really hard to carry 2 babies, a purse, AND a diaper bag (especially when your sunglasses keep falling off your head) in to the doctors office by yourself - what exactly was I thinking?  LOL!

Last night was great.  Not much sleep, but all things considered, they are feeling very safe and secure here and hopefully will be reunited with their parents soon.  

Please pray for us that we would have an opportunity to share with these parents and this family and to show them God's amazing love!  Our prayer is that God will receive glory in this whole situation and grant us his grace as we walk through it!

Please pray for Speedy Mo

I know I've been a little "quiet" on the blog for the past few weeks.  Speedy Mo got quite ill right around Christmas time and still has not fully recovered.  We always know when he doesn't feel good because he actually sits still for more than 10 seconds and he doesn't want to eat very much.  LOL!  But I digress, so. . .  after a full course of antibiotics, 14 days of on and off again fevers, and a 3 day virus type rash (measles?), he still has some mysterious swollen lymph nodes.  We will be taking him in for blood work and further testing early this week.  

Obviously we are praying that he will be healed and that this will turn out to be just a weakened immune system, but I also would ask for all of you to pray that (no matter what) the Lord would be glorified in Speedy Mo's life and in our lives.  We know and believe that God is both Sovereign and Good and we fully trust him but we also know that we are depraved and weak and in need of his grace to help us in our unbelief.  

I am also sensing some spiritual oppression within our family right now - just seems like something has been intensifying over the past week or so.  Please pray that the power of the Holy Spirit would be at work here in our home and in our lives and that the enemy would have NO foothold in any of our lives or in our home.  

Thank you for praying and I will let you know what we find out.  

"my three kids"

Praise the Lord for his goodness and love!  We found out this morning that "our three kids" who were waiting for a family to commit to adopting them have a family as of this morning!  What an awesome Christmas blessing from the Lord.  In just two months, he brought a family forward to adopt a sibling group that many would have deemed "unadoptable."  I'm so glad that, in His sight, we are all adoptable!

The Lord also blessed me with the knowledge that they are truly going to a good home (a friend of one of my online friends who is also an adoptive mama).  Thank you so much for praying!  May the Lord bring them home soon and may he be glorified in every circumstance surrounding this adoption process.  

P.S.  If P,E, and N's "new family" is reading this - Congratulations!  AND - we are praying for a 6 month process or less!

I'm back!

I'm back b/c my husband is back! Yeah! He was recently gone for 2 weeks on a missions trip to Rahjamundry, India. For security reasons, I did not post here before he left, but thank you to everyone who was praying while he was there. It was a great trip as far as I can tell, but very hard and he is still processing it. I can't wait to share some of his stories - he could hardly make it through a few of them today w/o crying and getting choked up. It was another good reminder to us of how materially overwhelmed we are with stuff that doesn't matter here in America and I'm sure we'll be re-evaluating (again) just how we spend our time, money, and other resources, as we reflect on the extremes that he saw while he was there.

In other news. . . we are really talking seriously about adopting again and feel particularly drawn to another sibling group of 3! Well, there are actually 2 different sibling groups of 3 from 2 different countries. . . also, we are hoping our foster care approval will be finished soon so we will be an official receiving home. Crazy, I know! Anyone else out there a little crazy? Great! Keep it up for the glory of the Lord.

Happy Birthday Speedy Mo!

My "Speedy Mo". . .  tomorrow you will be 7!  When we brought you home you were in that stage we always call the "funny 5's."  You were (and still are) such a funny kid - always making us laugh!

 Just 18 months ago you seemed more like a preschooler in both size and in development and I am sure that any "expert" would have said that you should have been diagnosed with attachment disorders and hyperactivity.  Too bad for the experts that this mama didn't spend too much time worrying about what they all thought - LOL!

I can hardly believe the changes that have occurred in you.  You are certainly not a preschooler anymore.  You are a BIG 7 now!  You are now almost as big as your "biggest brother:"  weighing in at 60 + lbs. (and most of that is muscle!).  You are easily playing U-10 soccer with your older brothers, you are your sister's protector, and you are mama's biggest helper.  

You have always been our very sweet, well-meaning, yet somewhat short-sighted one. . . "oh, sorry" (LOL!). . . but lately you have been trying so hard to have self-control.  Congratulations on sitting through church last week without talking or sleeping, or moving all around!  I know that took a LOT of effort and attention!  

What growth we have seen in you this year as you have learned to trust us and have learned to give and receive love.  I remember wondering if there would ever be a time when you would "warm up" and really "want" to give me a hug without being stiff and pulling away.  I was scared that the aloof little boy might be forever lost in that glossy eyed stare that wasn't connected at all.  Now I love to see you interacting with everyone with a smile and zeal for life that is more than most people I know.  And, although you still have a mischevious streak, you have gone from trouble-maker to peace-maker.  What a blessing to see you trying to be a blessing to those around you!

How amazing is GOD!  He has truly redeemed all of the time we didn't have together those first 5 years and has helped us both to tie the heart strings of true love and attachment.  As I tickled you tonight and tucked you in, I was reminded of what a true blessing you are in our lives and of how much Grace the Lord has had for all of us over this past year and a half!  We know that God has good plans for you, "my Maw-o-nee" - plans to give you a future and a hope - and we pray that it will be all for His Glory!  

Prayer and Perseverance

I would love to have the time to post more in depth, but I don't, so all I can ask is that if the Lord brings our family or another family to your mind (especially any who have adopted or are in the process of adopting Liberian children), just please be obedient and pray for us/them and for the children of Liberia in general.  There seems to be an intensified spiritual battle this week and we know that we fight this kind of battle on our knees.  May the Lord give us all grace and may he be glorified as He wins these battles for the souls of our children.  

If you are a family of adopted Liberian children (or soon to be), be alert to the schemes of the enemy this week, be prayerful in all things and especially over your children.  Do NOT listen to the LIES of the enemy.  For the Lord has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of self-discipline.  Persevere and pray, my dear friends.  He never promised this would be easy and comfortable - dying on the cross was neither of those for Jesus! - but He has promised that it will be good!

Reason number 15,301

Yes, I think we're up there in the double-digit thousands now!  

THIS is just one of the MANY reasons we choose to educate our own children rather than throw them out there to the increasingly secularly humanistic, socialist indoctrination factories that were once called public schools.  

My apologies if you are one of the rare public school teachers that still believes and practices that public schools are for educating children in reading, writing, and arithmetic and are attempting to work within the system.  I am so thankful for you and pray that you may be encouraged to stand strong in your endeavor (which, I realize, is extremely difficult and discouraging).  May God grant you the strength to continue.  

However, if you are a parent who has a choice, may I gently suggest that you take a SERIOUS look at what is really going on?   Start with the link above, but then check out some of the statements coming out of the NEA.  Look up some of the recent education bills that have almost been passed in states like CA.  Public school IS NOT what it used to be and it is certainly not an encouraging, nurturing, spiritually uplifting environment for the tender souls of our children.  Even if you are still going to choose public schooling as your primary means of educating your children, please don't stick your head in the sand about what is really going on.  Be (and stay) informed!

If we are going to raise godly children for His Glory, we must be intentional in our choices.

I couldn't have said it any better

Once again, Courtney has eloquently said exactly what needs saying. . . check it out!

Are you crazy?

Well, this isn't *exactly* how it is asked, but I can hear it in the voices of many friends we talk with when we talk about adopting more children in the near future and/or becoming foster parents.  

Are we crazy?  

Well, I suppose if you consider it crazy to do anything besides the normal American thing (2 kids, 2 cars, 2 incomes, public school, nice vacations, etc. . . ) - then, yes, in some ways we are a little crazy.  

If it is crazy to actually take Jesus literally when he says to CARE for orphans and widows in their distress, then yes, we are a little bit crazy. 

 If it is crazy to believe that children are a blessing from the Lord (each and EVERY one of them - no matter how many he gives us), then, yes, we are quite a bit crazy!  

If it is crazy to stay awake at night thinking about the 100,000 children in foster care  in the U.S. and the 143 million orphans worldwide waiting to be adopted and wonder how many of them we can possibly help, then yes, we are most certainly crazy.  

If we are crazy (and believe me there are people a whole lot more "crazy" than us out there - the ones who inspire me to step out in faith even more!). . . If we are crazy, it is because Christ's love compels us:  we are compelled to care about the orphan, compelled to act on the compassion we feel, compelled to do something when so many are doing nothing, compelled to love others in a real and tangible way and not just with words.  

Our prayer is only that God would make us more crazy for His sake, for His glory and that we wouldn't care one little bit how "crazy" it seems to anyone else but Him!

For some more thoughts on this, check out my friend Kim's post in in response to the question "Why?" that she gets now that they are adopting their 9th child.  Thanks Kim!

Praise the Lord

It appears that Baby Joe has made quite a miraculous and full recovery.  Praise the Lord for his goodness and read all about it over at preschoolers and peace.  His mommy and daddy are definitely giving all of the Glory to God!