The Blame Game

This morning during our breakfast table bible study time while discussing how some people ask WHY God allows suffering, what part we play, etc. . .

Big Jo: "If we want to play the blame game with God, we will LOSE!"

insightful.

Quotable Mr. Z

"Have a taste of your own fish."

(I guess this is a loose translation of "getting a taste of your own medicine?")

and,

"In college I'm going to major in florism. . .

. . . the study of flowers!. . .

oh, or maybe it is florology?"

Quotable Cutie

In his 3 year old words.

Did you go potty?

"yep. I go poop. . . and peep."

What's the matter?

"dey (they) disinored me!"

Where do the chickens live?

"In da chichen poop."

My "baby" turned 10!

August 23, I became the proud parent of a 10 year old! How did this happen? It certainly seems as if it could not have POSSIBLY been 10 years since I brought our first precious gift from God home from the hospital! Oh, how fast the years have flown by. . .

Some of my random thoughts about having "my baby" turn 10:

1. "10" sounds so old - we are officially in the "double-digits" now and, most likely, Mr. Z is probably more than half-way done living with us. This makes me both happy and sad. I am overjoyed to see him growing into a godly young man and I am excited to see what plans the Lord has for him in the future but I am sad that my little boy is growing up and that those days will never return. This makes me remember not to take any of my time that God has given me with my children for granted; to seize every moment and make the most of every opportunity with each one of the precious gifts God has given us!

2. Every time Mr. Z comes and sits on my lap or cuddles up for a hug or wants to crawl in bed with us in the morning, I find myself thinking, "what if this is the last time he wants me to hold him?" I know each time I have one more chance to hug, rock, kiss his head, or cuddle up is a priceless treasure and I take full advantage of it!

3. I didn't know how much I would miss the high pitched little voice calling Mommy, mommy, mommy! LOL! Grown-up kids say "Mom" - you know. . . I love it every time my "big boy" forgets that my name is now "Mom" and slips back into calling me "Mommy."

4. While I am definitely grieving the loss of some of the sweetness of the younger years, I am sort of (secretly) happy to be moving on past "9." If you've had a 9 year old boy, maybe you can relate. No one ever warned me, but apparently "9" is tough on a boy. There is so much going on! Hormones are changing, their brains are shifting from concrete to more abstract thought, EVERYTHING must be fair and justice is huge but, of course, only the 9 year old boy actually KNOWS what is right! LOL! Emotions are high, tempers flare, and they aren't quite sure if they'd rather be a child or an adult depending on the day or the situation. Things are very unsettled, shifting, and it's just plain hard! Last year during one of our harder days Mr. Z remarked (through tears but half-laughing), "I don't know what's wrong! I hate hormones! I'm mad and sad and . . . I just don't know!" Ahh. . . goodbye "9" - we are welcoming the content and fun-loving Mr. Z back into the world (only now he's just a little more "grown up!").

Picture and post all about Mr. Z will follow later this week hopefully!

Just in case you were wondering

If my last post left you thinking we were some "crazy homeschooling family," I thought I'd just post these pictures to totally confirm your suspicions. LOL!

I guess Mr. Z and daddy were having a bit of fun with the laptop's built in camera!

I wonder where he gets this from?

Surprise!

Well, it was a bit of a surprise, but we tend to do things unconventionally pretty much always!  

So, we were officially approved yesterday as foster parents AND. . . 

We also actually became foster parents!  LOL!

Needless to say we were far from "set up" but we really prayed that the Lord would bring them here if this is where they needed to be - and he did!  So, we rolled up our sleeves, enlisted the help of some GREAT friends, and pulled it all together very quickly to receive our first

TWO children. . .

under age 2!

Well, I haven't been here for a while, so I'm remembering funny things like:

it is really hard to carry 2 babies, a purse, AND a diaper bag (especially when your sunglasses keep falling off your head) in to the doctors office by yourself - what exactly was I thinking?  LOL!

Last night was great.  Not much sleep, but all things considered, they are feeling very safe and secure here and hopefully will be reunited with their parents soon.  

Please pray for us that we would have an opportunity to share with these parents and this family and to show them God's amazing love!  Our prayer is that God will receive glory in this whole situation and grant us his grace as we walk through it!

There's a "hallelujah" in the bottom of the sea

You know that children's song, "There's a Hole in the Bottom of the Sea?"   You know. . . 

there's a hole in the bottom of the sea, 

there's a hole in the bottom of the sea, 

there's a hole, 

there's a hole,

there's a hole in the bottom of the sea.

now sing it again, only this time just substitute the word "Hallelujah."

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah,

hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah,

hallelujah,

hallelujah,

hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.

Now, sing it as loud and obnoxiously as you can - over and over and over. . . 

Great!  You have just experienced our family's 7AM wake up call this SATURDAY morning. . . 

compliments of our early bird,  "Big Joe."  LOL!

My husband wasn't so amused.  He rolled over and asked me if this is how loud our house was every morning.  

I grinned sleepily and laughingly responded, 

"Well, we could just shout down the hall, 'HEY BIG JOE, STOP SINGING THOSE PRAISES TO GOD. . . WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP!'"

hmmm. . . guess not. . . on to verse two:

HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH, HE IS GOD

HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH, HE IS GOD

HALLELUJAH

HALLELUJAH,

HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH, HE IS GOD!

"Hey babe. . . I might need some coffee this morning!"  =)

The Wonderful Wisdom of a 9 year old

It seems the children are just full of wise words lately and it sure has been making us laugh around here!

Some background info:  Mr. Z (9) and I have been reading about the founding fathers, The Declaration of Independence, the basic set-up of our federal and state governments,  etc. . . 

So, we are sitting at the dinner table having a family discussion about how it is ILLEGAL (in the state where we live) for anyone to sell, give, or RECEIVE raw milk unless it is from a USDA inspected and approved facility.  Practically speaking, this means that, if I go to my friend's mini-farm and bring home a gallon of raw goat's milk for my family to drink. . . both her and I are committing a crime that is punishable by 6-12 months in prison.  Are you kidding me???

O.K. - I will refrain from launching into how incredibly insane this law is (other than to say that I cannot fathom how it can be LEGAL to buy and sell cigarettes which contain known carcinogens but punishable by jail time to milk a goat!?!?!?).  Sorry, I digress.  

Back to the story at hand:

So we are talking about the legalities of receiving raw milk and about whether or not the government should really be making laws about such things when Mr. Z has a sudden "lightbulb" moment and says, with a grin:

"Hey, they can't do that because I'm pursuing my happiness by drinking raw goat's milk!" 

If only the politicians were this intelligent!  LOL!

The Wonderful Wisdom of an 8 year old

I just had to pass along this funny bit of wisdom from one of the greatest 8 year olds I know (besides my own!).    Enjoy!

Mini M 'n' M's Tube 1 by ~touch-of-insanity on deviantART
--------------------------------------------------

So, this from the 8 year old today after church...

The context: Teen girls at our church are handing our small tubes of mini M&Ms. Church goers are encouraged to take the tube of M&Ms, eat the candy, and return the tube next week full of cash to help the girls go to the Girls' Youth Conference (Revolve Tour, maybe?)

So of course, all my kids wanted candy, which they were gladly given upon leaving the church.

In the car on the way home, with mouth full of chocolate, my 8 year old son 

asks...

"so mom, what's this candy thing about again?"

I try to explain what exactly a Youth Conference is. 

"Well, its a special weekend where girls go away with their friends, stay 

in a hotel, hear lots of good bands and concerts...all to worship God of

course...then they hear preachers and speakers who encourage them to really commit their lives to the Lord, and they hear the

Gospel, Bible teaching, etc."

Eight year old, still chewing ponders a moment...then responds, 

"Hmm.  . . Why don't they just go to church? It's free."

Dad thinks his son in brilliant, but he refrained from telling him so on the spot.

Speedy Mo Speaks:

After observing my sister with her dog that she brought to our house for a visit (she washed the stainless steel water dish for about 3 minutes before filling it with water again and also took him home so he wouldn't be cold once the temperature got down to about 50 F!).  

"Excuse me mama, but, why Auntie Becky treat her dog like a human?"

I don't know son, good question. . . (this is even funnier if you can imagine it in a Liberian accent!)

Parenting Mantras

It is always amazing to me that my children can remember all of the words to their favorite songs, the lines from a funny movie they've only seen once, and exactly what their sibling said that they shouldn't have said for which they should be in trouble. . . but they seem to forget the wise words of their mama in just minutes.  Do you know what I'm talking about here?  LOL!  

Well, there are a few things that my dear husband and I have said so many times that we feel like they have become a part of our normal daily vocabulary - parenting mantras of sorts.  So, I thought I would share a few with you.  You never know when they might come in handy at your house.  

Disclaimer:  if you find yourself thinking we are SO mean, just remember that all of these are said in a very sweet and loving tone (o.k., well, most of the time!).  So, here they are in a somewhat random order. . . 

If you whine, you get nothing 

(What do you get when you whine?)

Ughh!  Does whining bother anyone else out there? In our house we start out with the principle first and then once they know it, all we have to do is ask the question.  It is quite funny to hear a 3 y.o. respond to it with a pouty "nu-ting!"  Whining is my hubby's no.1 pet peeve and it does not go over well in our household.  It is especially annoying to him when children whine and are then gratified with whatever it was they wanted.  This happens in our culture A LOT!!!  Even if it is a valid request, in our house, if you whine, you don't get it:  You may wait and ask in a polite way a few minutes later.

You get what you get 

and you don't throw a fit.

I must give credit to my friend Charity for this one.  I think I first heard it at her house and it is a great one.  I find myself employing this "mantra" many times during meal times and also when the children are getting picky about things they should just be grateful for.  It works really well as a reminder BEFORE serving food or handing out new toothbrushes in different colors, etc. . . 

Crying is not dying

Well, hopefully this doesn't totally offend anyone out there.  I don't enjoy hearing my children cry and, for the most part, I don't think our children cry very often.  However, at some point, every mother of young children has got to get to a place where she can say to herself "crying is not dying" - I think the part she then verbalizes to the child is "if you need to continue crying, you may go and sit on your bed until you are finished."  If you have toddlers and especially if you have more than one toddler at the same time, this one will definitely relieve some of that "mommy guilt!"

Less talking, more eating

This one is fun - almost always said with a bit of a giggle in my heart.  You should hear it when my four get going speaking "Liberian."  They might never finish a meal. . . 

Are you Grumbly Hateful or Humbly Grateful?

So this was actually this song I remembered from a church musical I was in when I was like 5 years old!  I can even remember the tune and sing it to my children (Oh, they LOVE that!).  However, it is quite a good question to think about when someone(s) needing an attitude adjustment.

You seem to have a problem, 

what's your plan?

This one is relatively new and I don't employ it nearly enough yet.  It came from an unlikely source:  We were attending our first "foster parent training" and I was going with a less-than-humble attitude.  I remember thinking something like "Oh, great, I get to go hear some psychobabble about childrearing from people who don't know anything."  (I know - great attitude).  Well, I was pleasantly surprised (and humbled) when the training turned out to be extremely helpful to us; not only as future foster parents, but also in our parenting our current children - both bio. and adopted.  

The main thrust behind this "mantra" is that we are helping our children develop a sense of competency to work out their problems.  This is really important for me to remember and is SO much better than telling them what, why, and how they did something wrong and then fixing it for them.  When employed correctly, this simple (and yet profound) statement allows my children to hear that I am aware they have a problem, think that they are capable of finding a solution, and trust that they are going to be able to work it out and that I am fully behind them supporting them as needed.  Wow!  What an encouragement to them (especially to my boys - it really builds their sense that I respect them).   As my children get older, I am really trying to use this more!

If its not yours. . . don't touch it!

Most people do not live by this rule.  I don't even like making "rules" like this. I have never heard any of my friends say this to one of their children.  It sounds really harsh. . . And then came "Speedy Mo."  If you know him. . . you understand.  nuff said!

I love you!

With the many words we speak to our children each day, this should be said more than anything else.  Said, and shown.  Let us remember to build up our children with love and encouragement and not to slip into the habit of only speaking "at" our children with directions and correction- it is easy to do. . .  "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

My husband's best parenting idea ever!

"thank you, now please get me a quarter."

A few months ago, you would hear me say this quite often to each of my children whenever they decided they needed to tattletale on each other. These days I am having to use it with much less frequency and I must say that this was one of my hubby's most wonderful parenting ideas ever!

It formed in his mind sometime after hearing a whining child say "Mama, you see mawnee?" for the 4,075th time in one week. LOL! We were absolutely beside ourselves wondering what to do about the incessant tattling which was obviously for the benefit of getting the other child in trouble and not really because of anything significant which mama or papa needed to know about.

So, we instituted the "quarter jar." We explained: "You may tell mama or daddy anything you need to about your brothers or sister, but you will need to pay a quarter to do so." The quarter jar is kept on a shelf in the kitchen where it is easily accessible to mama at any time of the day. Anytime the children even started to whine with a "you see. . . " we would say with a cheery voice, " No, I did not see. . . , please get me a quarter!" After a week or so of this, all 4 of our children decided that tattling just wasn't worth it (some of them actually ran out of money that first week!).

Now, lest you think we are just mean and awful parents, there are a few exceptions: They may come and tell me if someone is hurt or is seriously physically harming someone else and they may also come and tell me if they have a problem that they have already tried to work out (but it MAY NOT be in a whiney voice that they come!) IF they are truly seeking help. Sometimes, one of my children will bring me a quarter and tell me something - I guess they figure that sometimes it is worth it.

However, for the most part, the "quarter jar" has been quite a success in adding to the peacefulness of our home. Our kiddos have learned to work it out and have been less apt to try to get each other in trouble when they know it will cost them something.

Here is the funny part - whenever we are going to run errands and I want to get a special coffee drink on the way, I get the money out of my "quarter jar." I tell the kids that mommy gets a special treat for having to listen to all that whining! Ha, Ha!

Top 10 Reasons to be Adopted into a Large Family:

I just had to share this great Top 10 List created by a great kid named Benjamin Green who is one of 8 adopted children in a loving Christian family!

#10. You always have someone to play with
#9. You don't have to look like your brothers and sisters
#8. Not many kids can say that they ride in the Mothership every week
#7. I've lived on 2 continents
#6. We get group discounts
#5. My mom and dad feed us at buffets
#4. We get more parties than other kids because we have birthdays and gotcha days
#3. You always have the largest cheering section whenever you do something
#2. Food never goes to waste
#1. When you're adopted, you know how much God really loves you

Aw, Benjamin, you have really made me think we need a few more children around here!

My Children's Nicknames

So, what happens when you have one biological child and then adopt a sibling group of 3 from Liberia?

1. Your biological son learns to speak perfect "Liberian English," of course!

It is VERY funny! Our oldest child insists that he cannot help but speak what we affectionately call "Liberian English" because "it is inborn, mom!" Hmmm. . . I'm pretty sure he was born here in America and hadn't heard any "Liberian English" until we adopted his siblings 9 months ago. . . he definitely has a sense of humor! It does really help though- since he can interpret for them to all the people who think they really are speaking another language!

2. They give each other nicknames just like they did in the "orphan home."

Just wait until you hear these. . . My husband and I didn't even know they had these names for each other until recently but apparently they have been their "names" for a while now! Really, you are not going to believe this - we were both shocked and totally laughing when all of this came up at the dinner table last week!

Youngest (adopted) girl - "Sucky-finger, big nose"
- because "she suck her finga and have a beeg no-"

Youngest (adopted) son - "Mountain head"
- because "he have a beeg hea- and lotza bee hai-"

Middle (adopted) son - "Jaw b0ne"
- because "he have a beeg chee-"

Oldest (bio.) son - "Snot-nose"
- because "he peek hih no- an eed it!" LOL!

I contemplated using these lovely nicknames on our blog. . . but, after we finished laughing, we decided it might be a good idea to come up with more honoring nicknames to call each other - and I think I'll go with these when referring to the children in future posts:

daughter - Little Missy
youngest son - Speedy Mo
middle son - Big Jo
oldest son - Mr. Z

Well, those are but two of the VERY funny things that have happened since the Lord blessed us, through the miracle of adoption, with 3 more wonderful children.

Praising the Lord for His Wonderful Grace in bringing home 5 more children from Liberia TODAY!