In a stable

Reading over at "it's Almost Naptime" today.

Remembering that God is Good and God is Sovereign has seemed to be the THEME of our lives these past 4 years. . .

maybe it is the theme for all of life?

Especially on those days or in those seasons when we feel like we're living in a stable: uncomfortable, not expected, sometimes full of stinky cr*p.

Don't miss reading all about it here - In a stable

Sacrifice, Service, and the Savior

Although it seems like a lifetime ago, Jeff and I were BLESSED to spend 3 1/2 years living alongside some of the most amazing families when he was getting his MDIV at Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary.  A few of those good friends were just having their first babies (and our son was just turning 5) when it was time for us to pack up and head out on the next adventure God had for us.  Now, two of these precious mamas have a great blog encouraging families to intentionally disciple their children (raisingdeeproots).  

Recently, Kelli asked for friends to share some ways they intentionally encourage discipleship in their homes and I shared a few thoughts.  Be sure to go back and read her post too!

What I said about intentional discipleship:

I think you are right, it is the simple things.

the daily living 

and talking 

and praying.

consistency.

telling The Story and not “the stories.”   

Not, "Moses was good, so be good. . . Daniel trusted God so trust God" 

but instead, 

"See how GOD is at work, see what God did, see that GOD is trustworthy and good - You aren't good, so trust God!"

and time. 

you’ve got to have time 

to talk and share and laugh and pray . . . 

and 

you’ve got to BE together and not apart all day long living parallel yet separate lives

 (and yet, sadly, that is SO prevalent in our cultural “norm” of family life today:  mom and dad off to work, kids off to daycare, sports, and friends houses).

and

keeping the things that matter at the forefront 

rather than on the backburner.

easy now. 

easy when the kids are little,

and you are motivated,

and have great intentions and plans. 

hard to hold-fast to as they grow. 

 we have wept as we have watched SO many fall away and towards the things the world says matter. . . 

and they forget that 

discipleship won’t just happen when life becomes all about 

soccer, school, and success 

rather than 

sacrifice, service, and the Savior.

The Blame Game

This morning during our breakfast table bible study time while discussing how some people ask WHY God allows suffering, what part we play, etc. . .

Big Jo: "If we want to play the blame game with God, we will LOSE!"

insightful.

Speaking the Language

In parenting KFHP (Kids from Hard Places) one must learn to speak a new language. Here is a link to a wonderful list of "helps" if you are needing some language assistance! LOL!

http://www.onethankfulmom.com/adoption/my-learning-curve-speaking-the-language/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+onethankfulmom+%28A+Bushel+and+A+Peck%29

Do you know about the Holocaust?

*warning* there are some strong images in this film that may not be suitable for your young children.

Brothers

Want to burn this moment in my memory forever.  So thankful that these two are brothers through the blessing of adoption!

Reason # 2304

There are lots of reasons that we choose "homeschooling" (although in our family we prefer to just call it "living and learning").

Hopefully soon I can share more about what our days look like, but for now, here is just one of the reasons we choose to educate our children without sending them to state schools.

Whatever Schools Teach, Parents Have No Rights

Hopefully, Never Bored!

If you're a Christian and you're bored,

then you might want to check the distance between yourself and the Master.

~Bill Johnson

I don't have time to blog?!

I know, I know, you are thinking:

"what? why in the world does someone with 10 children ages 4-14 not have time to blog?"

please don't give up on me though!

I'm actually filing away MANY MANY ideas and things that the Lord has been teaching us over the past 4 years and I WILL try to find a way to work a quick blog or two into my weeks soon.

For now, though, I'm doing the very important work of being a wife and mommy of many.

Creative, aren't they?

I'd Like to Adopt, But. . .

On the Dark Days of Motherhood

There are times when the path is smooth,

the sun is shining, the birds are singing,

and a gentle breeze rustles the trees softly.

Ah, the bliss of motherhood.

Then

there are the dark days

of stormy clouds

pouring heavy rains,

the path is rocky,

we slip and fall,

we are tempted to stop

and turn our face down,

avoiding the sting

of the cold and biting wind.

But,

even if you can't see it,

the sun is still there.

His Light still shines.

It may be behind the clouds right now,

but it will

come out again.

Do not despair,

hold on to Hope.

Look up.

Encouraging Links for mamas on the dark days:

Our Commission (from Kim at His Hands, His Feet Today)

(especially good for moms of KFHP-kids from hard places)

A Mother's Mission (from desiringgod.com)

(a great reminder to all moms of our great and wonderful calling)

Super Summer Smoothies

Yep. That's basically it. . .

just mix up the basic recipe and choose a "flavor of the day.

We make these almost every day for a snack or a meal

These are so easy and tasty.

They make great smoothie pops too if you want to freeze the leftovers.

I use my Vita-mix and this recipe makes about 7-8 cups.

Of course, we have to make TWO blender-fulls

to feed our crowd!

Oldie but Goodie

repost from the archives. . .

Adoption Lessons: Grace Isn't Just for Me!

. . . although, most days, I certainly act like it is.

While I would like to think that I'm truly thankful and grateful for God's Grace,

the truth is that

most days I'm more like the wicked servant

from the story in Matthew 18:23-33.

You know, the servant who deserved to be thrown into prison for a debt he could never repay but then begged forgiveness from the King? The King forgave him but then the servant went right out and demanded to be repaid a very small debt that he was owed by someone else - unwilling to cancel the debt, as had been done for him.

I often think of this story in terms of forgiveness -

as in, am I willing to forgive someone

for a specific offense they have committed against me -

and the answer is usually (and eventually) "yes."

(oh, don't I feel nice and righteous now?)

But,

what if the real story here is the story of GRACE

the free and unmerited love of God offered to me-

a sinner: selfish, prideful, a liar, easily angered, fearful, untrusting, rude,

did I say selfish?

Well, now we have something quite different because, you see,

I am more than happy to accept the Grace God offers me

but somehow I find myself

constantly wanting to CHOOSE

whom I deem worthy

of receiving that free and unmerited love from me!

Oh, I am wretched.

And here's where we come to the "Adoption Lesson."

It happens all the time.

It happened with us when we first started seeking out information about children to adopt.

We wanted what they all want - AYAAHAP.

It is so common, they even made up that acronym!

As Young And As Healthy As Possible.

It's understandable.

We didn't want to mess up our lives too much.

We didn't want to mess up our son's life too much.

We wanted to adopt a child,

we wanted to love a child,

we wanted to give God's love to a child;

we just wanted to make sure it was

an easy child for us to love - AYAAHAP!

But, see, that's the problem.

That kind of love isn't really God's love.

If you think that sounds harsh, I'm with you. . .

but it's still the truth.

Think about it.

Aren't you glad that God doesn't choose to adopt us into His family

based on ANAASAP -

As Nice And As Sinless As Possible?

His Grace is available to ME!

He didn't choose me based on

how easy I was going to be to love,

how thankful and loyal I would be to Him,

how quickly I would return His love,

how many times I would sing His praises,

how easily I would obey Him,

how little trauma I had in my background,

how little I would argue with Him,

or how many times I would go my own way.

Should, then, I ought not to be willing to extend

this unmerited love

freely

to orphans who might be really hard to love?

But, oh how the flesh fights to take the easy road.

I can't tell you how difficult it was

both times we adopted

to CHOOSE what (then) seemed like the VERY hard road.

We himmed

and hawed

and prayed

and talked

and tried to think

of any and every excuse "why not?"

We had more than a few others (even those claiming to be believers)

tell us why we should NOT choose:

older children

black children

many children

foster children

that many children (LOL!)

and,

quite honestly,

we wrestled with God

and

even cried as we made the choice

to die to ourselves and take up the cross He had called us to.

It was hard.

We had to choose to listen to the only voice that mattered.

Not ours.

Not other peoples'.

Just His.

The One who sacrificed so much so that we might live in His family,

was now asking us to sacrifice so that they might live in our family.

He was asking us to have Grace for the Orphan.

After all, His Grace isn't just for me.

Will you choose Grace?

Rice and Beans They'll Love to Eat!

You know me, no actual measurements, but here's the basic plan:

long grain brown rice

(assuming you know how to cook this)

black beans

soak and cook

OR

pressure can your own so they're ready to go anytime

add garlic, onion, cumin, cayenne, sea salt to taste

serve with taco toppings:

lettuce, salsa, sourcream, red onion

Seriously, it is THAT easy!

want a little something more?

How about this salad:

spinach leaves, mandarin oranges, sesame stix,

feta cheese w/ oil & balsamic vinegar dressing

Hint: make enough rice and beans for leftovers

DAY 2 (lunch)

you can make these the night before or easily whip it up at lunch time

Mix rice and beans together and spoon mixture into tortillas,

top with shredded mexican cheese blend.

roll up put on cookie sheet and bake at 350

till cheese melted and all is heated through.

Serve with salsa and sourcream and seasonal fruit

This is a REALLY cheap way to feed a crowd of hungry kiddos

TWO meals that they will love!

Don't forget to vote today at Circle of Moms

How Could You Be So Good To Me?

That God would allow me to share in the joys and sufferings of these children is truly a part of His Incredible Grace!

If you would like to help me tell more people how good He is and how He really can take children from hard places and heal their hearts, please consider taking a minute to "vote" for me at Circle of Moms. . . it really isn't about this blog, I just want others to know that God's Word and Truth can make a difference in healing the hearts of their adopted children!

you can vote once each day. Help me spread the Good News!

Thinking About A True Education?

It's that time again. That time of year when so many homeschooling moms are evaluating this past year and making plans for their child's education next year.

Although we tend to learn year round and not follow the school year calendar too closely, I do find myself reading, thinking, praying and planning.

I am loving the freedom and joy that our family is experiencing as we move toward a whole-hearted, love of learning, tidal, free-range, T.J., C.M. education.

No idea what I'm talking about? Try these resources just to get started:

These aren't just your typical "here's a great way to homeschool" resources. . .

these are PARADIGM SHIFTING,

"change the way you think about education" resources.

No matter if your children are 3, 9, or 15, homeschooled or public-schooled, these are worth your time.

I challenge you to read this book (available on Kindle) and watch this video to educate yourself on what education actually is!

What is TJEd? from Thomas Jefferson Education on Vimeo.

Thinking about (not) Homeschooling?

This is worth reading

"What's So Great About Public School?"

and what about "early learning opportunities?"

I wish I had time to write more, but for now ponder with me:

What do children REALLY need?

Lazy Mom's Lasagna

(sorry about the first post, the recipe is actually here in more than pictures this time!)

My kids LOVE lasagna.

Do you know how long it takes to make enough lasagna for my family of 12?

I guess it goes without saying that we don't have lasagna that often.

UNTIL NOW

because I have finally invented

The Lazy Mom's Lasagna!

As you know, I don't follow recipes and I don't measure anything (very few measuring cups would be big enough. LOL!)

So, once again I will give you my non-recipe-recipe and hope you can follow along. I promise, it will be worth it!

Little noodles (like rotini or gemelli), boil, pour into roasting pan

(yes, that is a TURKEY size roasting pan - adjust to the size of your family. . .

mine actually can eat all of this!)

ground beef - cook w/ a little salt, pepper, basil, garlic, onion (optional)

drain off grease, pour on top of pasta

(add olives in there too if you want)

Use your Bosch or kitchen aid to blend up the following:

1 lg. tub cottage cheese, 1/2 tub cream cheese,

Weird, I know, just trust me!

some creme fraiche (or not - I had some homemade so I used it),

chopped up spinach leaves, salt, and basil.

pour this cheesy mixture on top of meat

now get a big spoon and mix it all together (noodles, meat, cheese blend)

pour on top 1 lg. tub of speghetti sauce (costco or homemade)

top w/ mozzarella cheese

bake 350 till heated through and mozz. melted nicely on top

serve in a bowl w/ a slice of garlic bread and a salad.

YUM!

apparently my children ate it all before I took a picture of it cooked.

If you try this, please let me know what you think!

To Blog or to Tweet?

A big thanks to Jennifer at Conversion Diary for making me laugh today:

"I try not to use my blog as a platform

for ungrateful whining about the inconveniences

of my overall lovely life (that’s what Twitter‘s for)."

Adoption Lessons: Reconciled and Redeemed

KFHP = Kids from Hard Places.

Four Realities of adopting KFHP*

1. Your kids will not be grateful that you "saved" them.

2. They will not love you.

3. They will have no inclination to obey you.

4. They will exclusively want what they want.

JUST LIKE ME...

WHEN WHILE I WAS YET A SINNER, CHRIST DIED FOR ME.

Some of use are adopted by Christ as "infants."

We know his love as babies.

Because we grow up secure in His love toward us,

we have an easier time

believing,

loving,

trusting,

and submitting

to His authority in our lives

And many more of us are adopted from hard places..

where our sin has corrupted

and made our hearts hard,

fearful,

untrusting,

rebellious.

Adoption is a redemptive work.

It is a spiritual work.

If the family (Father over mother over children) is a reflection of the very triune nature of the Godhead, then orphaned children are the complete corruption of that order:

Fathers and mothers abandoning and abusing

rather than protecting and sanctifying their children.

Children rebelling and fearing

rather than submitting and trusting.

The work of reconciliation of the orphaned child is surely a spiritual work.

Just as marriage is a picture of Christ and the church,

Adoption is a reflection of the way God saves us,

while we were yet sinners,

laying his life down for us...

before we loved him,

before we were thankful,

before we EVER wanted His will over our own.

Thank God that He didn't make his grace for me

contingent upon me meeting His needs!

And yet,

God allows himself to "need" and desire our love...

just as parents need and desire their children's love.

It is painful when children withhold that love and rebel.

Wow.

What a picture of the God-to-man relationship!

*obviously, as redemption and reconciliation come, these realities change!

Spring Solutions for Homeschool Burn-out

We now approach our days with a "lifestyle of learning" approach, which seems to have eliminated "homeschool" burnout (since we don't really "do" school).

However, I am still a "homeschooling" mom and there are days when the dailiness of housekeeping and mothering can make one quite weary.

I know many moms find themselves in a weary place mid-spring and I hope these thoughts will be helpful.

The bottom line in avoiding "homeschool burnout":

approach life more wholistically and avoid "doing school."

I realize that is making some of you have a heart attack

and that you just aren't ready to do it, so I will also offer:

The bottom line in conquering "homeschool burnout":

Pray, take a few days to do something different,

get outside, live, laugh, love on your kids.

Whether you are weary from homeschooling or just from daily life, here are some ways to infuse life into your days of living and learning with your children:

1. Toss what isn't working - there are seasons. . . and sometimes a curriculum has "seen" its season! It REALLY is O.K. to give it the boot.

2. Take a few days "off" to get your house in order - sometimes the blahs aren't really from school, but are from other overwhelming things like a messy house or clothes mountains. It is spring cleaning season, after all. Get your kids involved too by cleaning up the yard, painting a fence, moving furniture, planting flowers, scrubbing floors, sorting socks. They will get out some energy and you will all feel refreshed with a better space to work in, cluttered with less stuff.

3. Grab a great read aloud and get outside to read it! Some good ideas: James and the Giant Peach, The Chocolate Touch, Farmer Boy, The Children of Noisy Village, Grandma's Attic. Don't forget great picture books like Mrs. Rumphius or Roxaboxen (be prepared for some GREAT imaginative outdoor play after that one!)

4. MY FAVORITE - pack a picnic lunch and head to your nearest lake or river. Find somewhere that lends itself to wading, hiking, waterplay, sand/shore play. Take a chair or blanket to sit on and bring your camera. Spend a day relaxing and capturing memories on film.

5. Call another homeschooling friend and have a "play the day away outside" play date for the kids while you and a friend have coffee and chat about life and encourage each other on this journey!

6. Change up your daily plan (with the change of season). . . work outside in the morning or go for a walk, move reading time to after lunch or dinner, maybe do some "book work" after dinner instead of in the early morning; after their bodies are tired from work and play during the day.

7. Go on a field trip to a local museum, fish hatchery, or zoo.

8. Do a family service project. Bake some goodies and visit a nursing home or grab some rakes and garbage bags and go rake some neighbors lawns, wash some windows for a local business, plant some flowers for someone who is having a hard time.

9. THIS IS GOOD! READY? Here we go: Figure out a simple list for each child of what you really, actually want them to finish before Memorial Day. Give them the list and tell them that if they finish by Memorial Day, there will be a sweet treat (either leave it a mystery or figure it out together - maybe a trip to a water park, a trip for icecream, a movie/pizza night)

Here's my example list for Mr. Z (age 11):

• finish Keys to Math workbooks (he has about 6 left to finish)
• read 4 more books off of our history reading list
• complete weekly Science reading and copywork from Real Science 4 Kids Biology book.
• complete weekly writing assignment for I.E.W. class (about 3 paragraphs a week)
• memorize the multiplication/division facts using the Flashmaster (we never really made this a big deal and he knows most of them, but higher math is irritating when you don't know them all, so I decided to give him the challenge to memorize them completely)
• glue ancient history timeline figures from Homeschool in the Woods into Timeline Binder and write one-page about a topic of his choice from anything we read about in ancient history this year.

It gives me a little bit of "ah, no stress - he can either get it done or not" but if he doesn't he'll miss the sweet treat (natural consequence for laziness) and then. . . we'll just pick it back up sometime this summer - no big deal.

I made a similar list for Smartie (age 13) and have a list for my younger kids too. I am more involved in helping their lists to get done.

How about you? How do you avoid or conquer "homeschool burn-out?" What have you been up to this Spring?

A Productive Day

Today we purposed to be productive!

Of course, this is my goal most days,

but I actually verbalized the goal this morning to the children and here's what happened after breakfast:

First we had our "Circle Time" - read our Jesus Storybook Bible (LOVE this), The Children of Noisy Village, Favorite Poems of Childhood, and went over our memory work (verses, presidents, landmarks, and such).

Next, all of the children worked on cleaning up their bedrooms, laundry (for those whose "laundry day" it is), and personal items around the house.

Then everyone teamed up and tackled some projects around the house - we

• raked the backyard and picked up the random stuff outside
• raked the front yard and cleaned up the toys that were under the porch
• made lunch and cleaned up the kitchen
• put away some bulk spices into jars in the pantry
• put away blankets and pillows and sleeping bags from last weekend's "sleep-over."
• vacuumed upstairs bedrooms
• picked up the little boys room and washed the bedding from last night's bed-wetting accident

We quickly ate lunch, cleaned up and jumped in the van with a rake and a bucket and. . .

went to a friend's house to rake and pick up leaves and acorns from their front yard. Everyone worked really hard and we finished their yard and the neighbor's in just under an hour. The kids were blessed with cookies and some playing in the sunny yard before heading home with $30 that we decided to send to some missionary friends

spent some time celebrating with more cookies and oranges in the backyard before

tackling a little "academic" work of reading, writing, and arithmetic (about 20 minutes of each)

and then everyone was off to check their "zones" and do their "zone work" before

dinner with Dad, clean-up, and reading TWO chapters of Amon's Adventure (love it).

So, what do you think? Productive? I suppose it is a matter of perspective, but for us, right now, this was quite a day!

Love Links

Two for Tuesday!

Read these "love" links to find out

why being selfish is NOT O.K. @ Time-Warp Wife:

this woman is full of God's Word and wisdom. . .

why education is NOT my top priority @ Storing Up Treasures:

Courtney does a great job of explaining the heart of a mother who desires her children's hearts to have love. . .

Answer: Misunderstood

Question: What do you call a large, multi-racial, foster, adoptive, homeschooling family?

Yes, it is true.

We have been misunderstood.

Many times.

Over many years.

BUT, I love that God is showing me that it is O.K. to be misunderstood.

Many times it gives me a unique opportunity to share the Hope that lies within me!

In fact, if I am living in such a way that no one ever questions my sanity, then maybe I'm not really living for Him.

I hope you enjoy this "guest post" today (from my husband):

-----------------------------------------

Misunderstood

When they looked at Jesus' life, what did the religious leaders most complain about?

That He ate with sinners and tax collectors.

What was Jesus most accused of by the religious leaders of the day?

Being a drunk and a glutton!

As we read the narratives of the gospels, we see the heart of Jesus and we understand why he was so intentional about spending time with people of questionable character and status - but those around Him missed it completely.

He even told the religious leaders, "it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Mark 2:17)

Jesus willingly accepted the fact that most people (and mostly religious people) would misunderstand Him as he pursued that which the Father had before Him.

I like the fact that Jesus was misunderstood.

It is freeing!

One of the biggest struggles I have had has been living to please others. This naturally made me afraid of what people thought about me and the decisions I made.

God has been pressing on these fears of man and has been burning them away, directing me to be most concerned about

what He thinks about me

and what He has before me. . .

even if others don't get it,

even if my friends totally miss the point,

even if it brings criticism.

CT Studd once said,

"Some wish to live within the sound of Church or Chapel bell. I want to run a Rescue Shop within a yard of hell."

I think Studd really understood the life of a follower of Jesus and how it might impact the way others see you.

What is so ironic is that when we are living out the

radical,

gospel-focused,

grace filled,

God-centered life

that smells of a rescue worker,

those who see themselves as "very religious" are the very ones who will misunderstand

while those of the world will (quite likely) be intrigued, fascinated and interested in why we live this way.

This gives us the opportunity to give an answer for the Hope that lies within us.

May we fear no man when we pursue God

and His direction for us.

May we run headlong into the God-fearing,

gospel-focused, grace-filled life.

May we ignore the critics

and pay attention only to the audience of One

for whom we live.

On the journey,

Pastor Jeff

Is your life costly?

"There is a common, worldly kind of Christianity in this day which many have. It is a cheap Christianity which offends nobody, requires no sacrifice, which costs nothing and is worth nothing." ~ J.C. Ryle

A few good reads for today

Life is full and good around here. We would appreciate your prayers for our family and others close to us as we prayerfully move forward with plans to possibly launch an adoption agency (of sorts. . . ). Seems like the spiritual battle is fierce because, of course, the enemy hates this!

Here are a few adoption posts worth reading:

I Don't Want My Children to be Happy at It's Almost Naptime

(I know it is an old post, but it is so good to remind ourselves of this in our parenting!)

Courage, Fear, and Adoption by Kings Things

I can totally relate since we have had secondary-infertility and have definitely faced the fears of adopting older children, sibling groups, and a LARGE sibling group! LOL!

Adoption Lessons: Of Hope and Healing

I originally posted much of this as an answer to a request for some "good news" stories over on the Tuesday Topic at A Bushel and A Peck.

----------------------------------------

It is such a long story and we have seen God move in incredible ways.

He has brought true healing and redemption to all of our nine children from hard places with attachment issues and trauma.

It wasn't an easy journey and some days, it is still hard, but (for the most part) we REJOICE in the changes that He has brought to their hearts, bodies, minds. . . to ALL of them.

Our first adoption was a sibling group of 3 from Liberia who were 4, 5, and 7 when we brought them home 4 years ago.

They were VERY attachment-challenged/RAD - as in, screaming raging fits, pouting, non-verbal, sensory issues, serious spiritual battles, etc. . . almost daily for the better part of a year or so!

Today, they are SUPER healthy, happy, wonderful children whom I forget have not been with me since birth!

They do not rage anymore, don't ignore or manipulate or triangulate (mostly).

We have the (very rare) occasion when they might sort of slip back into a "oh poor me" type attitude but we see it right away and they "regulate" (RAD lingo) SO fast - minutes instead of hours!

They initiate loving contact appropriately and receive it appropriately.

They are attached to us and don't go giving random affection to strangers anymore!

All of them have come to know and love Christ and they have a heart for others as well.

Really, I forget what a struggle it was unless I am asked about it! Then, I, quite honestly, have to fall on my knees thanking God for all he has done. It really has been incredible!

Our second adoption was a sibling group of 6 who came to us from the foster system just a year and a half ago when they were ages 2,4,6, 8, 10, and 12. LOTS of attachment and trust issues. LOTS.

They had been in and out of care for years and had most adults in their lives leave and lie to them. ugh.

The older ones were sad, cold, distant, depressed, angry, fearful, mean, hateful, sassy, rude, and terribly self-centered and hateful.

The younger ones were completely unattached - almost like wild animals -

hard, unfocused, no eye contact, mostly non-verbal, fit throwing, "behind,"

and even had strange self soothing techniques like clicking and head-banging.

Yes, it was seriously crazy around here - again, for the better part of a year (or more?!) -

BUT, again, God is in the business of making all things new!

Just last week the now 9 year old came and wanted to "repent and walk with Jesus and obey Him." After he prayed and we talked, he said, "Mom, I feel like the old has gone and the new has come. . . you know that verse? And my life is like Romans 8:28. . . we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes."

Oh, the amazing redemption stories He has allowed us to be a part of!

Today (less than 2 years later), the oldest two girls are some of the most amazing young "teens" that I know.

They are compassionate, loving, and gracious (mostly).

When they do get sassy and rude (as most young girls sometimes do) they are quick to repent and make it right.

They trust us and when they get scared or fearful they come right to us so we can talk about it.

We have honest, open discussions about joys, fears, and the pain of loss that is still there, but they are truly healed little girls.

They have goals, dreams, and true JOY in the Lord.

They are helpful to us and to others.

They are playful and love to laugh.

The two youngest are no longer "behind" - in fact, all of their "diagnosis" they came with can just be ripped up and thrown away!

They are totally communicative, funny, happy, growing pre-schoolers.

They push the limits like any preschooler, but not in the crazy RAD way.

They get their love from mom and dad and not from strangers.

They are happy to see us.

They want to rock, make eye contact, and do the other very healthy things that a non-attachment challenged child would do!

They are truly JOYful blessings in our family!

The two "middle" children are still on their path to true healing, but we have seen some amazing progress even in the past month.

Our little wild child - our 7 y.o. girl - now actually "melts" when I hold her instead of feeling like a stiff board.

She climbs up for hugs, looks in my eyes, wants to talk and interact.

Her irritating, annoying, "look at me" behavior has decreased dramatically, and I think she is well on her way to total healing!

Our boy, now 9, has maybe had the hardest time because he probably has had the hardest past.

BUT, he doesn't head bang anymore (incredible!).

He is beginning to "melt" when hugged, talk and not talk at appropriate times, and is starting to have a sense of wanting to please us (rather than not caring at all).

He is the one who recently committed to following Christ and we see a change in him already.

I realized that one of the reasons I have never really told all of this part of our story is that I sometimes feel like telling it will discourage others who haven't seen this type of healing yet.

Please don't let this discourage you, but rather may it ENCOURAGE you to persevere.

I know how hard it is to be in that very dark place where you are about to lose Hope and you wonder if it will ever be any better. I do know. It is SO hard. I get it.

I don't know why our children are doing so well when others aren't yet. The only thing we can boast in is in Christ and in his redemptive work in our children's lives.

True wisdom does not come from adoption experts. It comes from Him and His Word.

We thank and praise Him for it and pray that He might continue His work in all of us.

And so, rather than offer more advice on how this happens, I will simply offer this:

We BELIEVE

(not just in our heads, but in our actions)

that He CAN heal,

that He has called us to this

and will give us the strength to carry on,

that He is refining us in this process

and that it is a GOOD thing (although hard),

that there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS Hope.

We HAVE GOT TO believe these things.

We just have to!

If God is not Sovereign and Good,

then why do we serve him or even believe in him?

If he is Sovereign and Good,

then the above list is true

and we simply MUST believe it

and live, everyday, like we do!

On my Computer Today

Well, you could try:

The President Who Would be King for a little on what the President is up to this week.

or take your kids and head over to:

Meet the Giants for a fun music video about the Periodic Table of Elements.

For a painfully truthful look at ourselves this Lenten season:

visit our good friend, Ann's post - The Real Fast of Lent

Need a new dinner plan? Stop by and get some great recipes:

Black Bean Soup is on the menu at Large Family Recipes.

Lent 2011

Some simple ideas we'll be trying to live these next 40 days by God's grace:

• Reading Amon's Adventure by Arnold Ytreeide.

This is the same author of Jotham's Journey and of Bartholomew's Passage which were our family Advent read-alouds the for the past two years. We enjoyed and benefited from both of these Advent stories so much that we thought we'd try something similar during Lent.

• De-clutter and simplify by giving away 40 bags in 40 days.

I'm not sure this has a whole lot to do with Lent, exactly. . . maybe it is just "spring cleaning?" but I'm hoping that the act of ridding ourselves of some of our stuff might help us to rend our hearts towards Him.

Well, that's all I've got. I thought we'd have much more elaborate plans for Lent this year, but I have been struck by Ytreeide's words in the introduction of Amon's Adventure:

"Rend your heart. If a better definition of Lent exists, I don't know what it could be. . . the point of Lent, or any other time of spiritual focus, shouldn't be to follow a set of prescriptions and rules, it should be to seek a deeper understanding of and commitment to God. It's not a time to check off days on a calendar; it's a time to rend your heart, to do some spiritual housecleaning, to take a long hard look at what's inside you. A time to allow God to show you the work he's ready to do in your life."

I think I'm ready, but with slight trepidation, I humbly ask Him to help me rend my heart unto Him more fully; knowing that he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love (Joel 2:13).