Spring Solutions for Homeschool Burn-out

We now approach our days with a "lifestyle of learning" approach, which seems to have eliminated "homeschool" burnout (since we don't really "do" school).

However, I am still a "homeschooling" mom and there are days when the dailiness of housekeeping and mothering can make one quite weary.

I know many moms find themselves in a weary place mid-spring and I hope these thoughts will be helpful.

The bottom line in avoiding "homeschool burnout":

approach life more wholistically and avoid "doing school."

I realize that is making some of you have a heart attack

and that you just aren't ready to do it, so I will also offer:

The bottom line in conquering "homeschool burnout":

Pray, take a few days to do something different,

get outside, live, laugh, love on your kids.

Whether you are weary from homeschooling or just from daily life, here are some ways to infuse life into your days of living and learning with your children:

1. Toss what isn't working - there are seasons. . . and sometimes a curriculum has "seen" its season! It REALLY is O.K. to give it the boot.

2. Take a few days "off" to get your house in order - sometimes the blahs aren't really from school, but are from other overwhelming things like a messy house or clothes mountains. It is spring cleaning season, after all. Get your kids involved too by cleaning up the yard, painting a fence, moving furniture, planting flowers, scrubbing floors, sorting socks. They will get out some energy and you will all feel refreshed with a better space to work in, cluttered with less stuff.

3. Grab a great read aloud and get outside to read it! Some good ideas: James and the Giant Peach, The Chocolate Touch, Farmer Boy, The Children of Noisy Village, Grandma's Attic. Don't forget great picture books like Mrs. Rumphius or Roxaboxen (be prepared for some GREAT imaginative outdoor play after that one!)

4. MY FAVORITE - pack a picnic lunch and head to your nearest lake or river. Find somewhere that lends itself to wading, hiking, waterplay, sand/shore play. Take a chair or blanket to sit on and bring your camera. Spend a day relaxing and capturing memories on film.

5. Call another homeschooling friend and have a "play the day away outside" play date for the kids while you and a friend have coffee and chat about life and encourage each other on this journey!

6. Change up your daily plan (with the change of season). . . work outside in the morning or go for a walk, move reading time to after lunch or dinner, maybe do some "book work" after dinner instead of in the early morning; after their bodies are tired from work and play during the day.

7. Go on a field trip to a local museum, fish hatchery, or zoo.

8. Do a family service project. Bake some goodies and visit a nursing home or grab some rakes and garbage bags and go rake some neighbors lawns, wash some windows for a local business, plant some flowers for someone who is having a hard time.

9. THIS IS GOOD! READY? Here we go: Figure out a simple list for each child of what you really, actually want them to finish before Memorial Day. Give them the list and tell them that if they finish by Memorial Day, there will be a sweet treat (either leave it a mystery or figure it out together - maybe a trip to a water park, a trip for icecream, a movie/pizza night)

Here's my example list for Mr. Z (age 11):

• finish Keys to Math workbooks (he has about 6 left to finish)
• read 4 more books off of our history reading list
• complete weekly Science reading and copywork from Real Science 4 Kids Biology book.
• complete weekly writing assignment for I.E.W. class (about 3 paragraphs a week)
• memorize the multiplication/division facts using the Flashmaster (we never really made this a big deal and he knows most of them, but higher math is irritating when you don't know them all, so I decided to give him the challenge to memorize them completely)
• glue ancient history timeline figures from Homeschool in the Woods into Timeline Binder and write one-page about a topic of his choice from anything we read about in ancient history this year.

It gives me a little bit of "ah, no stress - he can either get it done or not" but if he doesn't he'll miss the sweet treat (natural consequence for laziness) and then. . . we'll just pick it back up sometime this summer - no big deal.

I made a similar list for Smartie (age 13) and have a list for my younger kids too. I am more involved in helping their lists to get done.

How about you? How do you avoid or conquer "homeschool burn-out?" What have you been up to this Spring?

A Productive Day

Today we purposed to be productive!

Of course, this is my goal most days,

but I actually verbalized the goal this morning to the children and here's what happened after breakfast:

First we had our "Circle Time" - read our Jesus Storybook Bible (LOVE this), The Children of Noisy Village, Favorite Poems of Childhood, and went over our memory work (verses, presidents, landmarks, and such).

Next, all of the children worked on cleaning up their bedrooms, laundry (for those whose "laundry day" it is), and personal items around the house.

Then everyone teamed up and tackled some projects around the house - we

• raked the backyard and picked up the random stuff outside
• raked the front yard and cleaned up the toys that were under the porch
• made lunch and cleaned up the kitchen
• put away some bulk spices into jars in the pantry
• put away blankets and pillows and sleeping bags from last weekend's "sleep-over."
• vacuumed upstairs bedrooms
• picked up the little boys room and washed the bedding from last night's bed-wetting accident

We quickly ate lunch, cleaned up and jumped in the van with a rake and a bucket and. . .

went to a friend's house to rake and pick up leaves and acorns from their front yard. Everyone worked really hard and we finished their yard and the neighbor's in just under an hour. The kids were blessed with cookies and some playing in the sunny yard before heading home with $30 that we decided to send to some missionary friends

spent some time celebrating with more cookies and oranges in the backyard before

tackling a little "academic" work of reading, writing, and arithmetic (about 20 minutes of each)

and then everyone was off to check their "zones" and do their "zone work" before

dinner with Dad, clean-up, and reading TWO chapters of Amon's Adventure (love it).

So, what do you think? Productive? I suppose it is a matter of perspective, but for us, right now, this was quite a day!

Love Links

Two for Tuesday!

Read these "love" links to find out

why being selfish is NOT O.K. @ Time-Warp Wife:

this woman is full of God's Word and wisdom. . .

why education is NOT my top priority @ Storing Up Treasures:

Courtney does a great job of explaining the heart of a mother who desires her children's hearts to have love. . .

Answer: Misunderstood

Question: What do you call a large, multi-racial, foster, adoptive, homeschooling family?

Yes, it is true.

We have been misunderstood.

Many times.

Over many years.

BUT, I love that God is showing me that it is O.K. to be misunderstood.

Many times it gives me a unique opportunity to share the Hope that lies within me!

In fact, if I am living in such a way that no one ever questions my sanity, then maybe I'm not really living for Him.

I hope you enjoy this "guest post" today (from my husband):

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Misunderstood

When they looked at Jesus' life, what did the religious leaders most complain about?

That He ate with sinners and tax collectors.

What was Jesus most accused of by the religious leaders of the day?

Being a drunk and a glutton!

As we read the narratives of the gospels, we see the heart of Jesus and we understand why he was so intentional about spending time with people of questionable character and status - but those around Him missed it completely.

He even told the religious leaders, "it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Mark 2:17)

Jesus willingly accepted the fact that most people (and mostly religious people) would misunderstand Him as he pursued that which the Father had before Him.

I like the fact that Jesus was misunderstood.

It is freeing!

One of the biggest struggles I have had has been living to please others. This naturally made me afraid of what people thought about me and the decisions I made.

God has been pressing on these fears of man and has been burning them away, directing me to be most concerned about

what He thinks about me

and what He has before me. . .

even if others don't get it,

even if my friends totally miss the point,

even if it brings criticism.

CT Studd once said,

"Some wish to live within the sound of Church or Chapel bell. I want to run a Rescue Shop within a yard of hell."

I think Studd really understood the life of a follower of Jesus and how it might impact the way others see you.

What is so ironic is that when we are living out the

radical,

gospel-focused,

grace filled,

God-centered life

that smells of a rescue worker,

those who see themselves as "very religious" are the very ones who will misunderstand

while those of the world will (quite likely) be intrigued, fascinated and interested in why we live this way.

This gives us the opportunity to give an answer for the Hope that lies within us.

May we fear no man when we pursue God

and His direction for us.

May we run headlong into the God-fearing,

gospel-focused, grace-filled life.

May we ignore the critics

and pay attention only to the audience of One

for whom we live.

On the journey,

Pastor Jeff

Is your life costly?

"There is a common, worldly kind of Christianity in this day which many have. It is a cheap Christianity which offends nobody, requires no sacrifice, which costs nothing and is worth nothing." ~ J.C. Ryle

A few good reads for today

Life is full and good around here. We would appreciate your prayers for our family and others close to us as we prayerfully move forward with plans to possibly launch an adoption agency (of sorts. . . ). Seems like the spiritual battle is fierce because, of course, the enemy hates this!

Here are a few adoption posts worth reading:

I Don't Want My Children to be Happy at It's Almost Naptime

(I know it is an old post, but it is so good to remind ourselves of this in our parenting!)

Courage, Fear, and Adoption by Kings Things

I can totally relate since we have had secondary-infertility and have definitely faced the fears of adopting older children, sibling groups, and a LARGE sibling group! LOL!

Adoption Lessons: Of Hope and Healing

I originally posted much of this as an answer to a request for some "good news" stories over on the Tuesday Topic at A Bushel and A Peck.

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It is such a long story and we have seen God move in incredible ways.

He has brought true healing and redemption to all of our nine children from hard places with attachment issues and trauma.

It wasn't an easy journey and some days, it is still hard, but (for the most part) we REJOICE in the changes that He has brought to their hearts, bodies, minds. . . to ALL of them.

Our first adoption was a sibling group of 3 from Liberia who were 4, 5, and 7 when we brought them home 4 years ago.

They were VERY attachment-challenged/RAD - as in, screaming raging fits, pouting, non-verbal, sensory issues, serious spiritual battles, etc. . . almost daily for the better part of a year or so!

Today, they are SUPER healthy, happy, wonderful children whom I forget have not been with me since birth!

They do not rage anymore, don't ignore or manipulate or triangulate (mostly).

We have the (very rare) occasion when they might sort of slip back into a "oh poor me" type attitude but we see it right away and they "regulate" (RAD lingo) SO fast - minutes instead of hours!

They initiate loving contact appropriately and receive it appropriately.

They are attached to us and don't go giving random affection to strangers anymore!

All of them have come to know and love Christ and they have a heart for others as well.

Really, I forget what a struggle it was unless I am asked about it! Then, I, quite honestly, have to fall on my knees thanking God for all he has done. It really has been incredible!

Our second adoption was a sibling group of 6 who came to us from the foster system just a year and a half ago when they were ages 2,4,6, 8, 10, and 12. LOTS of attachment and trust issues. LOTS.

They had been in and out of care for years and had most adults in their lives leave and lie to them. ugh.

The older ones were sad, cold, distant, depressed, angry, fearful, mean, hateful, sassy, rude, and terribly self-centered and hateful.

The younger ones were completely unattached - almost like wild animals -

hard, unfocused, no eye contact, mostly non-verbal, fit throwing, "behind,"

and even had strange self soothing techniques like clicking and head-banging.

Yes, it was seriously crazy around here - again, for the better part of a year (or more?!) -

BUT, again, God is in the business of making all things new!

Just last week the now 9 year old came and wanted to "repent and walk with Jesus and obey Him." After he prayed and we talked, he said, "Mom, I feel like the old has gone and the new has come. . . you know that verse? And my life is like Romans 8:28. . . we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes."

Oh, the amazing redemption stories He has allowed us to be a part of!

Today (less than 2 years later), the oldest two girls are some of the most amazing young "teens" that I know.

They are compassionate, loving, and gracious (mostly).

When they do get sassy and rude (as most young girls sometimes do) they are quick to repent and make it right.

They trust us and when they get scared or fearful they come right to us so we can talk about it.

We have honest, open discussions about joys, fears, and the pain of loss that is still there, but they are truly healed little girls.

They have goals, dreams, and true JOY in the Lord.

They are helpful to us and to others.

They are playful and love to laugh.

The two youngest are no longer "behind" - in fact, all of their "diagnosis" they came with can just be ripped up and thrown away!

They are totally communicative, funny, happy, growing pre-schoolers.

They push the limits like any preschooler, but not in the crazy RAD way.

They get their love from mom and dad and not from strangers.

They are happy to see us.

They want to rock, make eye contact, and do the other very healthy things that a non-attachment challenged child would do!

They are truly JOYful blessings in our family!

The two "middle" children are still on their path to true healing, but we have seen some amazing progress even in the past month.

Our little wild child - our 7 y.o. girl - now actually "melts" when I hold her instead of feeling like a stiff board.

She climbs up for hugs, looks in my eyes, wants to talk and interact.

Her irritating, annoying, "look at me" behavior has decreased dramatically, and I think she is well on her way to total healing!

Our boy, now 9, has maybe had the hardest time because he probably has had the hardest past.

BUT, he doesn't head bang anymore (incredible!).

He is beginning to "melt" when hugged, talk and not talk at appropriate times, and is starting to have a sense of wanting to please us (rather than not caring at all).

He is the one who recently committed to following Christ and we see a change in him already.

I realized that one of the reasons I have never really told all of this part of our story is that I sometimes feel like telling it will discourage others who haven't seen this type of healing yet.

Please don't let this discourage you, but rather may it ENCOURAGE you to persevere.

I know how hard it is to be in that very dark place where you are about to lose Hope and you wonder if it will ever be any better. I do know. It is SO hard. I get it.

I don't know why our children are doing so well when others aren't yet. The only thing we can boast in is in Christ and in his redemptive work in our children's lives.

True wisdom does not come from adoption experts. It comes from Him and His Word.

We thank and praise Him for it and pray that He might continue His work in all of us.

And so, rather than offer more advice on how this happens, I will simply offer this:

We BELIEVE

(not just in our heads, but in our actions)

that He CAN heal,

that He has called us to this

and will give us the strength to carry on,

that He is refining us in this process

and that it is a GOOD thing (although hard),

that there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS Hope.

We HAVE GOT TO believe these things.

We just have to!

If God is not Sovereign and Good,

then why do we serve him or even believe in him?

If he is Sovereign and Good,

then the above list is true

and we simply MUST believe it

and live, everyday, like we do!