"There is a common, worldly kind of Christianity in this day which many have. It is a cheap Christianity which offends nobody, requires no sacrifice, which costs nothing and is worth nothing." ~ J.C. Ryle
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Is your life costly?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
A few good reads for today
Life is full and good around here. We would appreciate your prayers for our family and others close to us as we prayerfully move forward with plans to possibly launch an adoption agency (of sorts. . . ). Seems like the spiritual battle is fierce because, of course, the enemy hates this!
Here are a few adoption posts worth reading:
I Don't Want My Children to be Happy at It's Almost Naptime
(I know it is an old post, but it is so good to remind ourselves of this in our parenting!)
Courage, Fear, and Adoption by Kings Things
I can totally relate since we have had secondary-infertility and have definitely faced the fears of adopting older children, sibling groups, and a LARGE sibling group! LOL!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Adoption Lessons: Of Hope and Healing
I originally posted much of this as an answer to a request for some "good news" stories over on the Tuesday Topic at A Bushel and A Peck.
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It is such a long story and we have seen God move in incredible ways.
He has brought true healing and redemption to all of our nine children from hard places with attachment issues and trauma.
It wasn't an easy journey and some days, it is still hard, but (for the most part) we REJOICE in the changes that He has brought to their hearts, bodies, minds. . . to ALL of them.
Our first adoption was a sibling group of 3 from Liberia who were 4, 5, and 7 when we brought them home 4 years ago.
They were VERY attachment-challenged/RAD - as in, screaming raging fits, pouting, non-verbal, sensory issues, serious spiritual battles, etc. . . almost daily for the better part of a year or so!
Today, they are SUPER healthy, happy, wonderful children whom I forget have not been with me since birth!
They do not rage anymore, don't ignore or manipulate or triangulate (mostly).
We have the (very rare) occasion when they might sort of slip back into a "oh poor me" type attitude but we see it right away and they "regulate" (RAD lingo) SO fast - minutes instead of hours!
They initiate loving contact appropriately and receive it appropriately.
They are attached to us and don't go giving random affection to strangers anymore!
All of them have come to know and love Christ and they have a heart for others as well.
Really, I forget what a struggle it was unless I am asked about it! Then, I, quite honestly, have to fall on my knees thanking God for all he has done. It really has been incredible!
Our second adoption was a sibling group of 6 who came to us from the foster system just a year and a half ago when they were ages 2,4,6, 8, 10, and 12. LOTS of attachment and trust issues. LOTS.
They had been in and out of care for years and had most adults in their lives leave and lie to them. ugh.
The older ones were sad, cold, distant, depressed, angry, fearful, mean, hateful, sassy, rude, and terribly self-centered and hateful.
The younger ones were completely unattached - almost like wild animals -
hard, unfocused, no eye contact, mostly non-verbal, fit throwing, "behind,"
and even had strange self soothing techniques like clicking and head-banging.
Yes, it was seriously crazy around here - again, for the better part of a year (or more?!) -
BUT, again, God is in the business of making all things new!
Just last week the now 9 year old came and wanted to "repent and walk with Jesus and obey Him." After he prayed and we talked, he said, "Mom, I feel like the old has gone and the new has come. . . you know that verse? And my life is like Romans 8:28. . . we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes."
Oh, the amazing redemption stories He has allowed us to be a part of!
Today (less than 2 years later), the oldest two girls are some of the most amazing young "teens" that I know.
They are compassionate, loving, and gracious (mostly).
When they do get sassy and rude (as most young girls sometimes do) they are quick to repent and make it right.
They trust us and when they get scared or fearful they come right to us so we can talk about it.
We have honest, open discussions about joys, fears, and the pain of loss that is still there, but they are truly healed little girls.
They have goals, dreams, and true JOY in the Lord.
They are helpful to us and to others.
They are playful and love to laugh.
The two youngest are no longer "behind" - in fact, all of their "diagnosis" they came with can just be ripped up and thrown away!
They are totally communicative, funny, happy, growing pre-schoolers.
They push the limits like any preschooler, but not in the crazy RAD way.
They get their love from mom and dad and not from strangers.
They are happy to see us.
They want to rock, make eye contact, and do the other very healthy things that a non-attachment challenged child would do!
They are truly JOYful blessings in our family!
The two "middle" children are still on their path to true healing, but we have seen some amazing progress even in the past month.
Our little wild child - our 7 y.o. girl - now actually "melts" when I hold her instead of feeling like a stiff board.
She climbs up for hugs, looks in my eyes, wants to talk and interact.
Her irritating, annoying, "look at me" behavior has decreased dramatically, and I think she is well on her way to total healing!
Our boy, now 9, has maybe had the hardest time because he probably has had the hardest past.
BUT, he doesn't head bang anymore (incredible!).
He is beginning to "melt" when hugged, talk and not talk at appropriate times, and is starting to have a sense of wanting to please us (rather than not caring at all).
He is the one who recently committed to following Christ and we see a change in him already.
I realized that one of the reasons I have never really told all of this part of our story is that I sometimes feel like telling it will discourage others who haven't seen this type of healing yet.
Please don't let this discourage you, but rather may it ENCOURAGE you to persevere.
I know how hard it is to be in that very dark place where you are about to lose Hope and you wonder if it will ever be any better. I do know. It is SO hard. I get it.
I don't know why our children are doing so well when others aren't yet. The only thing we can boast in is in Christ and in his redemptive work in our children's lives.
True wisdom does not come from adoption experts. It comes from Him and His Word.
We thank and praise Him for it and pray that He might continue His work in all of us.
And so, rather than offer more advice on how this happens, I will simply offer this:
We BELIEVE
(not just in our heads, but in our actions)
that He CAN heal,
that He has called us to this
and will give us the strength to carry on,
that He is refining us in this process
and that it is a GOOD thing (although hard),
that there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS Hope.
We HAVE GOT TO believe these things.
We just have to!
If God is not Sovereign and Good,
then why do we serve him or even believe in him?
If he is Sovereign and Good,
then the above list is true
and we simply MUST believe it
and live, everyday, like we do!
On my Computer Today
Well, you could try:
The President Who Would be King for a little on what the President is up to this week.
or take your kids and head over to:
Meet the Giants for a fun music video about the Periodic Table of Elements.
For a painfully truthful look at ourselves this Lenten season:
visit our good friend, Ann's post - The Real Fast of Lent
Need a new dinner plan? Stop by and get some great recipes:
Black Bean Soup is on the menu at Large Family Recipes.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Lent 2011
Some simple ideas we'll be trying to live these next 40 days by God's grace:
- Reading Amon's Adventure by Arnold Ytreeide.
This is the same author of Jotham's Journey and of Bartholomew's Passage which were our family Advent read-alouds the for the past two years. We enjoyed and benefited from both of these Advent stories so much that we thought we'd try something similar during Lent.
- De-clutter and simplify by giving away 40 bags in 40 days.
Well, that's all I've got. I thought we'd have much more elaborate plans for Lent this year, but I have been struck by Ytreeide's words in the introduction of Amon's Adventure:
"Rend your heart. If a better definition of Lent exists, I don't know what it could be. . . the point of Lent, or any other time of spiritual focus, shouldn't be to follow a set of prescriptions and rules, it should be to seek a deeper understanding of and commitment to God. It's not a time to check off days on a calendar; it's a time to rend your heart, to do some spiritual housecleaning, to take a long hard look at what's inside you. A time to allow God to show you the work he's ready to do in your life."I think I'm ready, but with slight trepidation, I humbly ask Him to help me rend my heart unto Him more fully; knowing that he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love (Joel 2:13).
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Lent De-cluttering
Have you heard about the 40 bags in 40 days challenge for Lent. I suppose it isn't really a challenge, but more of a focused way to actively practice the discipline of simplicity.
I'm thinking about getting the children on board and seeing if we can spend part of the 40 days of Lent simplifying our lives from clutter.
Anyone else up for the challenge?
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