Crazy Cousin Camp (part 2)

Our first year of "Cousin Camp" would have been busy enough with the morning sessions of basketball camp (see cousin camp part 1),

BUT,

this was also the week of our church's annual Teamworks! Soccer Camp (our unique alternative to VBS). So, every evening from 5-8, we were all up either volunteering or participating in soccer skills, drills, and games and hearing about our real Coach and King, Jesus Christ.

Not only was my dear husband the primary administrator of the whole thing, but I was also in charge of refreshments each evening! Praise the Lord for a wonderful team of people from our church who came together to really love and serve the children in our community. We had almost 60 volunteers and 95 children each evening. MOST of the children were not from families who attend church or who know Christ. How awesome for

them to be able to hear the Word and see the love of God's people in action!

Here are some pics of the week:

first picture above is of "Smarty" with her team (she "coached" an Under 6 team and did a GREAT job!)

Chatty was on the orange U-10 team with my little half brother - his "Uncle John." LOL!

Little Missy took over the Under 8's and scored many goals, but we were most proud of her helpful spirit of being a peacemaker for her teammates!

Big Joe, Mr. Z, and Speedy Mo all competed in the U-12 group. Speedy is only 8, but he is quite skilled with the soccer ball (as are his brothers!)

oops, a few more pics to follow in the next post

Crazy Cousin Camp (part 1)

Last week was a WHIRLWIND of excitement around here! I'm one tired mama!

This was the crazy, fun, exhausting week of our first annual "Cousin Camp."

For years I have been hoping to host "cousin camp" for my 4 nephews (ages 6-12) and my younger half-siblings (ages 8 and 12) to come and spend time with our family. This year I was finally able to convince both my dad AND my sister to send almost all of their children up for a week. . . but only because there were two sports camps for their kids to take part in. LOL!

So, crazy cousin camp started late Sunday evening when my younger sister and brother and two of my nephews joined us for dinner and a movie and settled in.

That brought us to a total of 14 children for the week - ages 2,4,6,6,7,8,8,8,10,10,10,12,12,12!

The week was FULL of activity and adventures.

Our first big activity of the week was Basketball Camp for 8 of the 14 children. It was M-F from 8-12. Here is Speedy Mo showing off his skills and below is a picture of my little brother and my nephew. All of the actual "cousins" loved saying that this little guy (on the left) was their uncle!

One morning, my dear husband took 3 of the remaining children with him to set up Soccer Camp (more on that later) which left me with ONLY a 6, 4, and 2 year old! Now, I know for most mamas, the years of a 6, 4, and 2 year old at home can be rough, but that morning I was thinking,

"Wow, this is CAKE! I can't believe how much I'm getting done, how happy the kids are, how quiet it is. . . "

They do say it is all about perspective!

Adoption Lessons: Grace Isn't Just For Me

although, most days, I certainly act like it is.

While I would like to think that I'm truly thankful and grateful for God's Grace, the truth is that most days I'm more like the wicked servant from the story in Matthew 18:23-33.

You know, the servant who deserved to be thrown into prison for a debt he could never repay but then begged forgiveness from the King? The King forgave him but then the servant went right out and demanded to be repaid a very small debt that he was owed by someone else - unwilling to cancel the debt, as had been done for him.

I often think of this story in terms of forgiveness - as in, am I willing to forgive someone for a specific offense they have committed against me - and the answer is usually (and eventually) "yes."

(oh, don't I feel nice and righteous now?)

But,

what if the real story here is the story of GRACE

the free and unmerited love of God offered to me-

a sinner: selfish, prideful, a liar, easily angered, fearful, untrusting, rude,

did I say selfish?

Well, now we have something quite different because, you see,

I am more than happy to accept the Grace God offers me but somehow I find myself constantly wanting to CHOOSE whom I deem worthy of receiving that free and unmerited love from me!

Oh, I am wretched.

And here's where we come to the "Adoption Lesson."

It happens all the time.

It happened with us when we first started seeking out information about children to adopt.

We wanted what they all want - AYAAHAP.

It is so common, they even made up that acronym!

As Young And As Healthy As Possible.

It's understandable. We didn't want to mess up our lives too much. We didn't want to mess up our son's life too much. We wanted to adopt a child, we wanted to love a child, we wanted to give God's love to a child; we just wanted to make sure it was an easy child for us to love - AYAAHAP!

But, see, that's the problem.

That kind of love isn't really God's love.

If you think that sounds harsh, I'm with you. . .

but it's still the truth.

Think about it.

Aren't you glad that God doesn't choose to adopt us into His family based on ANAASAP - As Nice And As Sinless As Possible?

His Grace is available to ME!

He didn't choose me based on

how easy I was going to be to love,

how thankful and loyal I would be to Him,

how quickly I would return His love,

how many times I would sing His praises,

how easily I would obey Him,

how little trauma I had in my background,

how little I would argue with Him,

or how many times I would go my own way.

Should, then, I ought not to be willing to extend this unmerited love freely to orphans who might be really hard to love?

But, oh how the flesh fights to take the easy road.

I can't tell you how difficult it was both times we adopted to CHOOSE what (then) seemed like the VERY hard road.

We himmed and hawed and prayed and talked and tried to think of any and every excuse "why not?"

We had more than a few others (even those claiming to be believers) tell us why we should NOT choose:

older children

black children

many children

foster children

that many children (LOL!)

and, quite honestly, we wrestled with God and even cried as we made the choice to die to ourselves and take up the cross He had called us to.

It was hard.

We had to choose to listen to the only voice that mattered.

Not ours.

Not other peoples'.

Just His.

The One who sacrificed so much so that we might live in His family,

was now asking us to sacrifice so that they might live in our family.

He was asking us to have Grace for the Orphan.*

After all, His Grace isn't just for me.

*PLEASE read this amazing post from someone who totally gets what Grace for the Orphan is all about!

Your Questions Answered: Adoption Fundraising?

Wow! I hardly EVER get comments, let alone questions. I was SO excited to receive this really great question from Jennifer in regards to adoption fundraising efforts:

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This is a really interesting idea. Please don't think I'm criticizing when I ask my question. I'm only thinking this through "out loud" (or in print, as it may be...) I am an adoptee from a large adoptive family and my parents didn't fundraise for any adoption because they felt we would be made to feel like a "project." It's purely speculative, but it seems to me that would have indeed been my feeling. As an adult, when we chose to adopt, my husband is in full-time ministry and I am a home maker, yet we have seen the Lord provide for three private adoptions (the fourth and now our fifth are through foster care). We didn't tell very many people of our plans to adopt privately. Only the Lord and we knew if He willed, He would fund our adoptions, which He did. But back to my question, does fund raising for an adoption make the child feel like a "project?" Please accept my question in the spirit it was intended...just trying to learn and grow by thinking out loud. Blessings, Jennifer

----------------

Jennifer, I am not offended in the least by your question. I think it is a good question and I am happy to address it here! Of course, I am not the expert, nor am I adopted myself, but I can give you our "take" on it:

I think that if parents think of and treat their children as "projects"then the children may feel like they are a "project" rather than a beloved child.

I believe this is true of any child - foster, adopted, or biological.

I don't think that fund raising to bring a child home is necessarily an indicator of the parents' heart attitude towards the child, nor an indicator of how they will treat that child once they are home.

Certainly, we can all think of MANY cases where foster children are certainly "projects" of parents - sadly, often it is a financial project. However, in our case and in MANY others, parents have felt very called by God to pursue foster children coming into their homes.

Should all foster parents refuse state subsidies so that their child doesn't feel like a project? I don't think that is the case.

I really think it is about the relationships developed within the family that would cause a foster child to feel like (or not feel like) a "project."

I know many a biological child that has certainly been treated like a project. You know the ones - the parents are having their 2.5 children to "round out" their nice little lives with their beautiful house, dog, boat, and cars and then take the child to every activity known to man so that they can be little achievers in every way and also completely expect the child to meet their psychological and emotional needs for security and love. . . ya know?

I can remember a recent adoption story in the news where a very rich family adopted internationally (without assistance or fund raising), only to bring the child home and then be OFFENDED and frustrated that the child was not immediately meeting their emotional needs to be loved, was not responding with gratitude towards the parents who felt like they had done the child "such a great service and given them so much."

In this case, I can CERTAINLY see where the child would feel like a project! In our home, when we talk about our Liberian children's adoption, we often discuss and remember how many gracious and generous friends and family members helped financially to bring them home.

We recall with great fondness the large and small donations made by so many who visibly demonstrated God's love so that they might be able to come home to be a part of our loving family instead of suffering hunger and lonliness in an orphanage for the rest of their lives.

WE talk about it in a positive light because we really believe that it is positive.

All of our children think it is AWESOME that SO many people were able to be a part of their homecoming.

I imagine (and I could be completely wrong) that one reason you think you would have felt like a project (if your parents had fund-raised) is that you have heard your parents tell you why they didn't fund raise and so it has become a part of your pattern of thinking.

I'm not saying it is right or wrong, just pointing out that children often "take on" a lot of what their parents talk about. For example, my girls often will say that an outfit is "not appropriate" while another girl of the same age will feel like the same outfit is "sexy or cute." The difference? Discussions with their parents that have helped to formulate their thought processes.

We, of course, always want our children to know that they are beloved and wanted and are NOT projects, but are precious gifts we have been given by God.

Part of His gift to us was providing (through His people) the funds to bring them home to us!

Those are my initial thoughts. Thank you for being brave enough to ask about it! I hope you will let me know what you think.

I would also love to hear what others think about adoption fundraising. I have to admit that I had never given it a whole lot of thought before - at least not in regards to the feelings of the adoptive child towards the process.

Summer Remodeling

here on the blog, that is. . .

Warm weather still eludes us, but I thought these bright warm colors might help me to FEEL like summer when I'm here on the blog!

still trying to figure out what to do with the header. . . I honestly don't have much time to think about things like how my blog looks!

Belated Birthday Blogging

Oops!

In the craziness of our lives this past month, I missed blogging about two big birthdays.

Our awesome Little Missy turned 7 (although we think she *might* be 8 - but that is something for another post). It is hard to believe that this was the FOURTH birthday she has celebrated as a part of our family. In some ways, it seems like just yesterday when we were celebrating her 4th birthday right after we brought her home from Liberia. In other ways, I can't remember life without her.

Little Missy is a JOY. She is one of the most capable 7 (8?) year olds I have ever met. She loves her siblings and is such a help with her younger brothers. Her belly-laugh is contagious and when something catches her funny bone, we all end up giggling right along with her. Quite the leader, Little Missy can organize and direct an entire group of children (even when there are many who are much older). She is a great helper to me, an encourager to her siblings, and always puts a smile on her daddy's face with her joyful spirit. Happy Birthday, sweet girl!

Our other big birthday was the first birthday that Happy has celebrated as a part of our family. Happy turned 4! In some ways, it was such a strange birthday to me. When Happy joined our family he seemed almost like a young 2 year old. Now, just 6 months later, he is a 4 year old in every way. As one of those mamas who just LOVES the baby phase, I sort of mourn this extra fast growing up. . . on the other hand, it is AMAZING to see what changes and growth have taken place in such a short amount of time.

Happy continues to live up to his bloggy world name! LOL! This child is so funny. We have been talking about names lately and have decided that Issac (laughter) will have to be a part of Happy's new name. He says we also must name him "the king" since his real life name is also a biblical King's name.

Oh, yes, this one has opinions!

Another thing he had a definite opinion about was his birthday celebration. He wanted a "Carmen SanDIEGO party with lions." Hee Hee. . . he loves Diego, but somehow got the words mixed up and must have heard some older sibs talking about their computer game. So funny!

Happy Birthday Little Missy and Happy! We love you both so much!

Giving Thanks

for health and wellness (especially thankful to be finished with the 6 weeks of illness that recently ran through our family! LOL!)

for the summer sun which decided to emerge for a few days this week. Maybe that garden will grow after all.

for friends and family who have been such a wonderful support system to us over this last year.

for the 10 beautiful blessings that the Lord has given us the privilege of parenting

for a lovely day of visiting with friends. We enjoyed coffee and conversation while watching our 18 children play the day away on "the farm."

for the end of baseball season! We have LOVED watching Big Joe and Speedy Mo play their first season of "real" baseball. . . but we're also glad it is coming to an end.

for free swimming lessons for all of our children this summer. Thanks Carol!

for a REALLY awesome husband!

for a REALLY awesome husband who is also a GREAT daddy!